If At First You Don't Succeed

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR MALE AUDIENCES!

Ok Ladies (and those men brave enough to tread in uncharted waters) I made an appointment for my annual pap and pelvic exam. I thought it was about time since I haven't had one since Bella was born and she's almost two. So, I stopped making excuses and just went.

I am a BIG baby when it comes to these things. I think about it all day long and get myself all worked up. Now normally I make my appointment with someone in the gynecology department because I figure - well that's what they know right . . . who could do it better than someone that does that stuff all day?

Well, this time I didn't follow my own advice - I made an appointment with my family doctor. BUT here's another snag - the doctor I used to see is no longer there - so I had to see a brand new doctor who just happens to be male. Before I go on I'd just like to say that I've had two kids . . . I've literally had more people than I care to count see my "special place" and in much worse condition I might add. So, the fact that my new doctor is a man shouldn't bother me right??

So I get there and we begin the exam. Of course the nurse has to come back in during the fun part - yeah, the nurse . . . who looks like she is twelve years old. (I must be getting old) So he begins the pap, but wait . . . . . . he's having trouble . . . . . . . wait a minute . . . . . . yup, he can't get the speculum inserted correctly. Yes you heard it ladies - there I am on the table with a guy I just met trying repeatedly to insert a shiny metal object into my "special place." I can hear him and the twelve year old talking amongst themselves as I try my best to not tense up. He finally calls to me from the nether regions and says "Your cervix is being shy today."

What????? This could only happen to me.

Turns out (in case you're wondering) my cervix is "off to the side". Gee, I've never had anyone say that to me before . . . funny how the people in the OBGYN department never seemed to have that trouble!!!!

So ladies, I hope you've all learned a valuable lesson from this . . . . when you need an annual exam, go to the people that do it all day long - they're clearly the best.

Birthday Wishes

Brian and I spent the weekend with our very good friends Jake and Julie. Actually, to call them very good friends is quite the under-statement! We don't get to visit them very often, but everytime we do . . . they welcome us with open arms and turn their home into ours.

Julie will be celebrating her 30th birthday tomorrow! In honor of the momentous occasions, I thought perhaps it would be fitting to tell you all a little bit about my "very good friend" Julie and how I came to meet her. (I know she's going to kill me for putting her picture on here!)

I met Julie back in junior high. (actually I first met her through our mutual friend Wendy - but I don't remember exactly when that was - Jules do you?) She was this spunky little thing with an out-going personality that actually intimidated the crap out of me! My first memory of Julie was on the basketball court. I already knew who she was, but wasn't really sure yet whether or not we would get along. She went to my "rival" school back then so I was playing against her. There she was . . . all four feet of her (ok, maybe she was a little taller than that) and she had her hair pulled up in a ponytail and I noticed that the bottom portion of her head was shaved bald.

I believe she tried to be friendly and say "hi" to me, but when I caught a glimpse of her shaved head I thought - "holy crap, this girl could kick my butt!" I was so afraid of her I think I just pretended I didn't hear her and ran away.

Fast forward fifteen plus years and I can't imagine my life without Julie in it! I said before that to call Julie a "very good friend" was an under-statement . . . Julie is family. I grew up an only child, so I can't say for certain what a relationship would be like with a sister, but I can't imagine it being much different than what I have with Jules.

It truly amazes me to think that all those years ago I met a person that would become so important in my life. Little did I know as I was running away from that spunky little girl, that she would go on to become my confidant, my children's Godmother, and my best friend. I don't know how many people get to experience the closeness of a life-long friend - I thank God everyday that I was lucky enough to.

Happy Birthday Jules! May your next thirty years bring you happiness, prosperity, and the fulfillment of your dreams.

Four Things . . .

Four jobs I have had:

1. Fishing Tackle Assembler - Worth Company
2. Point of Sale Supervisor - ShopKo
3. Retail Loan Specialist - Associated Bank
4. Stocker - The Discounter

Four movies I have watched more than once:

1. Pretty Woman
2. Dirty Dancing
3. The Breakfast Club
4. Sixteen Candles

Four television shows I watch regularly:

1. Hell's Kitchen/Kitchen Nightmares (I LOVE Gordon Ramsey!!)
2. Brothers & Sisters
3. E.R. (I have to say I'm glad next season is the last!)
4. American Idol/Bachelor

Four places I've visited:

1. Aruba
2. Jamaica
3. Las Vegas (twice)
4. Florida (too many times!)

Four of my favorite foods:

1. Pizza
2. Ice cream
3. Strawberries
4. Tacos

Four things I am looking forward to in the coming year:

1. Outside fun with the kiddies
2. Continuing my health kick
3. Less stress at work
4. A family vacation

Four places I love to shop:

1. New York & Company
2. Target
3. Old Navy
4. Any store devoted to kids clothes!

Mystery Of The Disappearing Crayon Wrappers

I was sitting in the living room one evening and I asked Kadin if he wanted to color with me. (we had been on a coloring kick recently - don't ask) So he said yes . . . so we got out the crayons and the coloring books. We color for awhile and I notice that some of the crayons I am using have no wrappers. I thought, hmmm . . . that's odd. Now these crayons are the fancy kind with the built-in sharpener . . . and for awhile Kadin had this fixation with sharpening all the crayons. So I thought that perhaps this was just another one of those things - him enjoying taking all the paper wrappers off the crayons.

So I casually mention - "Gee Kadin, why do some of these crayons have no wrappers?"

"I don't know" is the answer I get.

No big deal right - it's just wrappers. So I keep on coloring and then I notice Kadin is gone. I hear Brian say "Kadin, why are hiding by the couch?" (Kadin was wedged in between the couch and the end table)

No response.

Brian: Kadin - what are you doing?

Kadin: Nothing.

Brian: Are you eating your boogers again? (ok - so my son eats his boogers!)

Kadin: Nooooaaah!

Brian: Then why are you hiding?

Kadin: Don't talk to me right now . . . I don't want you to talk to me.

So I continue to color a little bit as I glance over my shoulder at my son still wedged between the couch and the end table. A few minutes go by and I hear . . .

Kadin: Do you want to know what I'm doing?

Me: Yes.

Kadin: I'm taking the wrappers off the crayons.

Ok, so I guess my kid is one of those closet-wrapper-taker-offers. Maybe it's a really intimate thing and he wants to do it in privacy right - a little weird, but anyone who knows Kadin already knows that he's a little weird. So I continue to color and Kadin finally fulfills his wrapper fix and rejoins me as well.

Pretty soon I'm thinking to myself . . . if the wrappers are coming off the crayons, but I don't see them by the couch on the floor . . . then where are they going???

Me: Kadin - where are all the wrappers to the crayons?

Long pause . . . Kadin comes up next to me and whispers in my ear . . .

Kadin: I ate them . . .

Me: I was afraid you were going to say that.

Mystery solved.

One Week Ago Today . . .

I woke up to find my backyard looking like this:

Today, it looks like this:

One week! I can't believe our weather can change that much in one week. I hope this time Spring is here to stay!

Don't Leave Your Child Unattended

You see this warning on everything, from carts at the grocery store to playlands at McDonald's. Perhaps they knew something when they came up with that little slogan . . .

Here's the scenario; Brian was nice enough to offer to take the kids grocery shopping so I could squeeze a workout in. Everything was going smoothly until Kadin decides he doesn't want to go grocery shopping, he wants to stay home with mom. Brian tries to convice him to go - "if you stay home, you know that mommy isn't going to play with you right? She wants to walk on the treadmill." He nods in agreeance . . . so off go Bella and Daddy to the grocery store.

So, here I am pondering if it's really ok for me to walk on the treadmill . . . leaving my four year old with the run of the house. I get my exercise gear on and head downstairs with Kadin in toe. Before beginning my walk I have a talk with my son.

Me: Now Kadin, mommy is going to walk on the treadmill for awhile ok?
Kadin: Yeah I know.
Me: So, you will have to play by yourself for a little while ok?
Kadin: Yeah.
Me: So I want to go over some rules while mommy is walking.
Kadin: ok.
Me: Do not leave the house for any reason. If you hear someone ring the doorbell or knock on the door, don't answer it. Come and get mommy first ok?
Kadin: Ok, if I hear the doorbell I will run downstairs and come and get you ok?
Me: Yes, that sounds great. Are you going to play down here?
Kadin: Yes I will play down here. Well, then I might go upstairs and play.
Me: Well, can you make sure you come down here a few times so I know you're alright?
Kadin: Why?
Me: So I can make sure you are ok.
Kadin: ok.

So off he runs to find something to play with and off I go to sweat off some extra pounds. So I'm walking, and walking, and walking and as I instructed him to, Kadin pops in every few minutes to tell me what he's doing. I'm thinking heck, this is working out great!

Then I notice he starts showing me different colored pieces of paper. Keep in mind I was aware that there was a HUGE pile of papers that needed to be shredded and recycled. Also keep in mind that I was aware that Kadin LOVES to shred. So I start putting two and two together that he has decided to shred while mommy is walking.

I'm almost done with my walk and Kadin pops in and tells me that the shredder is full and he needs to empty it. Knowing that he will never be able to go upstairs, get a garbage bag and dump the shredder into it - I tell him what I thought at the time was a good idea. I tell him to empty a little bit of the shredded paper onto the floor so he can make room for more shreds. (Keep in mind I'm thinking - I'm almost done and if I can keep him occupied for a few more minutes then I can help him)

As I'm entering my cool-down, Kadin comes back, very proud, and says "Mom, I emptied the shredder all by myself." Oh great . . . .

I never knew our shredder could hold that much paper!!

Money Matters

Some of you may not know that part of my job at JP is collections. I am the "Credit Manager" - a self-given title I might add. I didn't think sending my demand letters from "Accounts Receivable Dept" was very intimidating! I have the awesome job of collecting on all of the past-due advertising. Lucky me.

I have to share a very interesting conversation I had the other day. Keep in mind I've had a lot of people blow me off - it goes with the territory - but never quite like this.

Girl: Hello Jane's Dolls. (company name has been changed)
Me: Hi, could I speak to Jane please?
Girl: Sure, could I ask who's calling?
Me: This is Nerissa from The Doll Den. (again, magazine name changed)
Girl: Ok, hold on one minute please. (sounds of a hand smothering the receiver)

This is what I hear as this girl assumes she has her hand very discretely covering the receiver so she thinks I can't hear her . . .

Girl: Jane, there's a Merissa (everyone ALWAYS says my name wrong!!!) on the phone from The Doll Den.
Jane: Oh . . . (long pause) Did you tell her I was here?
Girl: Yes . . . (another long pause) Should I tell her you are in the back?
Jane: Yeah, why don't you do that.

Hand comes off phone . . .
Girl: I'm sorry, but Jane is in the back right now. Can I take a message for you?
Me: Um, you said Jane's in the back? I just heard her.
Girl: She's going to help another gal get some dolls down for delivery. Can I take that message for you?

Uggghhh! I was so shocked by what just happened, I just stupidly gave her my contact info and hung up. Now, I'm sure other people have done this to me numerous times, but at least I couldn't HEAR THEM DOING IT!!!

I love my job, I love my job, I love my job . . . . . .

Luck Of The Draw

How many of you remember your great-grandparents during your childhood? Do you remember them getting down on the floor and playing with you, or were they the type that would sit on the side and watch you play?

Growing up I had two great-grandmas and one great-granpda that I remember. They were both from my mother's side of the family. My great-grandma and grandpa L were not the playing type. I have memories of eating in their kitchen, and visiting in the living room, but I don't have many memories of actually interacting with them. My great-grandma P I also have many memories of, but most of them were after she had gotten sick and was bed-ridden. Needless to say, even before that, I don't really remember her playing with me.

Now, one could say that I was too young to even remember if they played with me or not . . . and you may be right. Regardless, I still think that my kids have THE COOLEST great-grandparents in the world!

Almost a month ago now we celebrated my grandma's 79th birthday. She has been on this planet for 79 years, has lived through many thingshas seen friends and family come and go, has lost most of her sight, yet whenever she gets around my kids . . . it's as if she's a kid herself again.

This is how my grandma spent the eve of her 79th birthday party:

What are they doing?? (I'm sure you're asking this question) Well, they are laying on the kitchen floor, waiting for Brian and my dad to launch a styrofoam airplane over the wall that divides our kitchen and living room. (Come on . . . I couldn't make this stuff up!) I know Kadin is only four, but I hope when he's older he can tell his kids about all the fun stuff that he used to do with his great-grandma.

My grandma told my mom recently that she felt bad that they couldn't afford to give us as much money for our birthdays anymore. If she only knew that these memories I have of her playing with my kids means more to me than any amount of money in a birthday card. You can keep your money Grandma . . . just promise to come over and play!!!

Rain Rain Go Away . . .

Come again only after we've seen some SUNSHINE!!!

I posted yesterday that I was grumpy . . . well I still am and I think part of the reason is this:

For the last several days, I look out my window and see . . .

gloomy, cloudy, rainy, cold skies. This is completely depressing. I think mother nature has something against us this week. She teased us over the weekend with balmy temperatures in the 60's and melted virturally ALL the snow . . . now she has brought winter back.

I've spent the last several days bundling up my kids (mind you I just got out the spring coats over the weekend and I REFUSE to put them away!!) and living in daylight that resembles 6 a.m. - Ugghhh. I have been trying to take walks during my lunch hour at work - needless to say I haven't done much walking this week. That makes me grumpy too.

I've heard the saying April showers bring May flowers . . . what does snow and sleet in April bring????

Living The Good Life

So, today I am GRUMPY. I truly believe I am living the good life, but what really frustrates me is . . .

WHY DON'T I APPRECIATE IT!!!!!!

Last night I watched a program on Nightline about Randy Pausch, a college professor who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He is 47 years old with three young kids - 6yr old, 3 yr old, 18 mos old - and was given 3-6 months to live. I watched this man talk about his life, his dreams, his family - and he was so humble and upbeat. It blew me away! His now famous speech The Last Lecture has helped millions of people change their lives and priorities. He never dreamed that a gift he intended for his kids would end up helping so many people!






I went to bed last night with my mind consumed with this family - how would those kids cope with losing their dad so young, how would his wife go on without him??? What would I do if Brian was stricken and taken from me so young? The more I thought about it the angrier it made me. I was angry at myself - for all the little things I take for granted every single day of my life. Those little things that I would dearly miss if my life was cut short.

I'm not very good at changing things about myself, but I owe it to my family to try a little harder to appreciate the things I have because in the end - I am living the good life!!

Waterpark Weekend

What a fun weekend!!! It was an impromtu trip to Mt Olympus in the Dells this weekend that made my kids the happiest in the world!

I cannot stress how lucky I feel that I am close to my parents. I talk with my mom at least three times a week and now that we live in the same city, it's so easy for us to drop by their house or vice versa. Nothing makes me happier than to see my parents get excited over a family trip.

This trip to the Dells was my Dad's idea. He was on vacation last week and came up with the idea to go to the waterpark. Ever since Kadin was little, one thing that my Dad has really enjoyed is taking him to the waterpark at Cedar Creek in Wausau. Well, since that one was all booked up, he found the next best thing . . . Mt Olympus.

I have to say, this trip was like getting on a time machine back to when I was a kid. We went to places that I remember my parents taking me. (Unfortunately it always seems so much neater when you were a kid - why is that??)

We ate breakfast at Paul Bunyan's, got water-logged in the kiddie pools, saw Robot World, shared some serious laughs, enjoyed some much-needed springtime weather and even did a little shopping. It was fun, fun, fun . . . and exhausting!

I could've taken a million pictures . . . here are just a few of my favorites from the weekend.

If You Give A Bella Some Ice Cream

If you give a Bella some ice cream, she will probably eat the WHOLE thing.

If she eats the WHOLE thing, she will probably get a little hyper.

If she gets a little hyper, she will probably run all around the house.

If she runs all around the house, she will probably notice that the bathroom light is on.

If she notices that the bathroom light is on, she will probably go inside.

If she goes inside, she will probably grab the styling gel.

If she grabs the styling gel, she will probably want to "fix" her hair.

If she "fixes" her hair, she will probably want to look in the mirror.

If she looks in the mirror, she will probably see this . . .


If she sees this, she will probably notice she has an ice cream beard.

If she notices she has an ice cream beard, she will probably want more ice cream.

Congrats Brian!

Just wanted to quickly post a big Way To Go! to my wonderful husband for receiving . . . .


142 Votes!!!

In yesterday's election!

Great job Brian . . . we're so proud of you!

Movies That Win Awards

So, I always get disappointed when I finally see a movie that has won a bunch of awards. I don't know what it is . . . maybe it's the anticipation of seeing something that must be great . . . or the high expectations that "this will be the best movie I've seen in a long time!"

Well, if you have an attention to detail, you will notice that my list of "Recently Viewed" has changed to include - No Country For Old Men.

My trail of disappointment didn't end here, let me tell you. For those of you that have not seen the movie - this post will be completely useless for you and I apologize. Also, IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW ANY SECRETS OF THE MOVIE - DON'T READ ON!! I will not be responsible for ruining the ending of a movie for someone.

So, here's my dilemma . . . after watching this, I was left with so many questions. Perhaps that is why it is considered an award-winning film - because people will go on blogs to try and find out what the heck happened!!!

Here's my list of questions (in no particular order)

1. What happened to the money?
2. Did the wife get killed in the end?
3. What was the significance of the car crash at the end?
4. What was the significance of the sheriff's dream about his dad?
5. Who were the Mexicans that were following and speaking to the wife and her mother at the airport? Do they have something to do with the husband getting killed at the hotel?

If any of you want to post your thougths on this film - fire away! Maybe you can answer some of my questions.