Look, But Don't Touch!

It's kind of a tradition that every year for Christmas Brian and I buy one new ornament. We search the stores for just that right one ... and it has to be something neat. Last year we bought a miniature Pac Man arcade game ornament that plays the Pac Man theme when you push the joystick ... it was awesome!

I have fond memories of when I was little. My grandma would drag up her fake Christmas tree from the basement and we would match the colored ends of the branches to the colored holes on the "trunk". The thing was so old and bare, but I loved it. She had the best ornaments. They were old and fragile ... I still remember she had a little tricycle that the wheels would move. I would zoom it around the floor and pretend like it was a real bike.

Then she'd put on this plastic candy garland. Oh know what I'm talking about? It was basically different shaped white plastic candies ... some were candy canes with red stripes ... peppermint disks with red swirls ... some were even wrapped in a red or green cellophane wrapper. It was gaudy and perfect ... and she had just the right way of winding that candy garland around the inside of the tree so the barren branches wouldn't look so bare.

I still miss that tree and those ornaments.

I hope someday that my kids will fight over who gets the cool old ornaments. I want them to have those fun memories of decorating our tree and looking/playing with the neat old ornaments we'll have. I want them to tell their kids about how Grandma and Grandpa always bought one new ornament each year ... and tell the story of our they would play with those ornaments when they were kids.

I said we search for those ornaments. Every year when the Christmas stuff hits the stores ... we are on the look out for "the ornament". The one cool ornament that will make the cut this year. We were in Appleton today and decided to go to the Hallmark store to look at their selection of ... you guess it ... ornaments. So, we were looking ... and the kids were looking too. We spotted a couple really neat ones that had moving parts and buttons you could push.

I noticed this elderly employee of Hallmark started walking toward Kadin who was enjoying watching one of the ornaments move as he turned the little handle on it. Now, I know that Kadin - at times - is not the most gentle kid in the world. BUT - I was fully confident that he was capable of turning that little handle on this ornament without breaking it.

She looked at him and said ... "Ooooh ... you better be careful with that. We wouldn't want it to break."

So, I noticed she looked a bit nervous ... so I shooed Kadin away from the ornaments and we started looking at something else. Well, Kadin spotted some candles. He loves to smell candles. In fact ... we had just visited Yankee Candle Co ... where he opened and sniffed about 15 candles (all without dropping or breaking a single one I might add). So, naturally he picked up one of the candles and started to open the lid so he could smell it.

Elderly nosey employee said "Gee ... you know those candles are glass. You wouldn't want to break one ... they are also very expensive."

Ummm ... ok. Yes, I realized they were glass and yes I realized they were expensive. I guess what I didn't realize was that children were obviously not allowed to touch anything in this store without said elderly crabby employee lady have a freaking fit!!!! Ahem ...

At this point I am irritated. I am irritated that this woman - who doesn't know us or know my child ... thinks that he is incapable of touching anything without breaking it to pieces. So, I turned to Kadin and said ... "Kadin, please put the candle back because we are obviously making that woman uncomfortable."

Kadin put the candle down ... with a look of confusion on his face. We took him to a different aisle of the store and we continued to look at some other cute holiday things. It wasn't until I noticed that this crabby old hag ... ahem ... was following us around in the store ... watching our every move ... that we decided to leave ... in a hurry.

As we left she had the gaul to say ... "Please come back again soon."

Uhhhh .... WHAT!!???! Brian turned to her and said ... "Not while you still work here."

We walked on our merry way ... to a different store ... where Kadin was allowed to touch stuff and maybe even break things into little bitty pieces - only if he wanted to of course.

What A Vacation!

Today was just a crummy day. So, I'm going to take this opportunity to vent ... a little ... ok - maybe a lot.

I think I'm a pretty good worker. I do my share and willingly work extra hours when asked. I've even been known to work an occasional weekend if need be. I go in early every day and on most days I stay past 5:00.

As you know ... from reading this blog ... my children have been sick. They have literally been sick for a month. And of course when they're sick ... they can't stay home by themselves. I try not to make Brian stay home all the time, so I have missed my fair share of work in the last month.

A couple of weeks ago I was home with Bella. When I returned to work ... I had an e-mail from my boss - asking me if I was going to use vacation time. I thought this was a bit odd ... because I had been home sick with a child before and was never asked to use vacation time for it. I was under the impression that by being an exempt employee (and one that works over 40 hours each week) it would be ok if I missed an occasional day for a sick child.

So I questioned why I was being asked to use a vacation day when I never had to do that in the past ... my response was that I apparently was supposed to use a vacation day before, but was never asked to do so. Yeah ... lucky me ...

So ... two weeks ago on a Wednesday I as home with Kadin. Then last Friday I was home with him again. Now, I completely understand that this appears excessive. I agree - it is. But ... when your child is sick what can you do???

The week I missed Wednesday happened to be the week of inventory. I worked 12 hours on Friday of that week. Last Friday when I stayed home ... I worked all morning from home while Kadin napped.

I went in today and saw that (without telling me) my boss put in two vacation days to cover the two days I missed. I am totally disgusted. Am I completely off the mark here or is that totally unfair???

If I am an exempt employee ... one that works over 40 hours each week ... shouldn't I be able to stay home with my sick child and not have to use vacation??? AND ... since I put in 12 hours one day and worked from home the other ... shouldn't I be able to use some of that time toward my work week and NOT be penalized a full 16 hours??

Oh you bet I complained and now it is in the hands of HR to decide my fate. I'm pretty sure my boss was thoroughly irritated with me today and you know what? I don't even care. If they dock me those 16 hours ... I swear I will start coming in at 8:00 and leaving at 5:00 because I don't see the benefit of working more than I have to ...

Vagina Monologues ...

I've never understood why children do the things they do. There are times when my children just freak me right out ...

Bella likes to strip down naked in the hallway before she takes a bath. I think she thinks it's funny to run around in the buff ...

Tonight was bath night. So, she removed her clothes in the hallway and proceeded to ask me if she could go in the living room and show Kadin. Hmmm ... show him that you're naked??? Yeah - probably not a good idea ... so I told her no. She started whining and crying ...

"WAAAHHH ... I want to show Kadin!!! WAAAAHHHH!!!!"

So I did what I do sometimes when I just don't want to argue and I just wanted her little tush in the bath so I could finish cleaning the kitchen!!! I told her ...

"Make it quick." Because seriously ... what's the harm? I know, I know it really isn't appropriate for your child to run around naked ... and yes I know that Kadin is getting a bit older now and perhaps shouldn't be seeing his sister and her private parts. Blah, blah, blah ...

So Bella happily did her run around the living room and when she got back to the bathroom she was just laughing. She turned to me and said ...

"Kadin kissed my gina!"

"WHAT!!!! He kissed you where?"

"On my gina ... hee, hee, hee!"

Oh good Lord in heaven ... she did not just tell me that her brother kissed her vagina ... not poked or looked at or accidentally brushed up against ... no she said kissed. I seriously could feel the vomit at the back of my throat. I seriously didn't believe her ... I thought - yeah, she must be mistaken. She surely meant elbow ... or knee ... hell even mouth would be better than her freaking vagina!!!

"Bella ... are you sure Kadin kissed your vagina? Show mommy where he kissed you."

"Yes! Right here!" Pointing to her vagina ... of course.

What do you say? I was speechless ... I felt wrong and dirty ... like now I was the on who needed a bath. I went into the living room where Kadin was innocently playing his Leapster. It was weird seeing him laying on the floor ... it was almost like I expected him to look different, like now he was a pedophile or something!

"Kadin ... did you really kiss Bella's vagina?" Don't ask me why I asked him that ... I think I was still in denial.

"Yes."

"Kadin, that's gross."

Yup ... that's all I said. Great parenting - I know. I couldn't even find the words to express the wrongness of that situation. I'm still speechless ...

Prince Jake Loses His Head

Bella LOVES her Barbie dolls. When I say LOVE ... I mean she will go to her room and dump them all over the floor and sit in there and play. She's very good about playing by herself ... most of the time. Do you know what she loves more than playing Barbie dolls by herself? Playing Barbie dolls with someone ... someone other than Kadin. I'm not certain, but I'm guessing it has something to do with the fact that everything Kadin plays involves shooting people and dying ... just a hunch ...

I despise playing Barbie dolls - which I find odd because I loved playing them when I was a kid. Her routine of playing Barbie dolls is always the same. We are always princesses and there is a prince who is getting married (because she has a "bride" doll) and we all have to dance. Seriously ... always the same. I am even only allowed to have the same dolls each time we play. Bella gets all the dolls with big dresses and fancy hair ... and I get all the crap. Every. Single. Time.

FUN!!!

So we were in her room the other night playing Barbie's and, surprise ... there was going to be a wedding!! Prince Jake (no joke ... that's what she named him) was going to marry all the ladies ... all 15 of them. I'm hoping this is not a sign of what her future relationships are going to look like, but I digress. So Prince Jake is preparing for his BIG wedding day ... to marry the 15 loves of his life.

Bella was meticulously sitting each doll in a row ... so they could each have a turn to dance with him. So I took my crappy doll and started talking to Prince Jake ...

"So, Prince Jake ... are you getting married today?"

"Yup."

"Are you going to change your clothes? You are wearing beach shorts and a tank top? That's not appropriate attire for a wedding."

"No ... I'm not changing my clothes. I don't have any other clothes Mommy!"

"Oh ... are you nervous about getting married?"

"No ... but my head falls off sometimes."

"Your head falls off?"

"Yeah ... my head falls off." As Bella is still seating all the brides.

At this point she turned on her little Barbie boom box ... and Prince Jake began to dance with each lucky bride.

So as Prince Jake began to dance with his brides ... Bella handed him to me so she could be all the brides.

"Ariel ... could I have this dance?" I ask in my most Prince-like voice ...

"Sure ... just don't lose my boobs"

"Ummm ... what?"

"You know ... just don't take my shirt off!" as Bella giggles ...

"That's not until after the wedding baby" the snarky Prince said.

Come on ... I didn't really say that!!! What kind of parent do you think I am???

I didn't say that ... I didn't say anything because I was too busy laughing! Aaaahhh ... maybe playing Barbie dolls isn't so bad after all.

The Story Of The Missing Tooth

Kadin: "Dad, I think I have a cavity."

Brian: "Why do you think that buddy?"

Kadin: "Because I have this bump in my mouth."

Brian: "Well, sometimes people get bumps in their mouths bud ... I'm sure it's no big deal."

Kadin: "Yeah - but I've had it since I was at Grandma's house!!!"

Me: "Kadin, let Mommy see. Where is this bump?"

Kadin: "Right here ... " as he point behind his bottom front tooth.

Me: "Hmmm ... it looks like you have some food stuck in your tooth. Here, come closer and let me see again."

Me: "OH MY GOSH!!!!! Kadin ... do you know what that is?!?!?"

Kadin: "No ... "

Me: "Kadin ... you have a big boy tooth coming in!!!"

Yup ... that's how we discovered that Kadin was going to lose his first tooth. I was so excited I think I almost started to cry. It was another of those moments when I saw Kadin's early years flash before my eyes ... as I wondered how on earth he was old enough to be losing a tooth.

After Kadin went to bed that night ... Brian and I discussed this loose tooth. In my meager experience with loose teeth ... I seemed to remember the adult tooth NOT poking up behind the baby tooth. I was a bit concerned that maybe his baby tooth wouldn't get loose enough and he'd have to have it pulled.

I know you all remember that Kadin is a bit of a ... well wuss ... like his mother ... ahem. The thought of him having to go to the dentist to get this baby tooth pulled was more than I could handle. I had a flashback to my own childhood when I was taken to the dentist for that very same reason. Ok - so maybe I actually was taken to the dentist because I was too chicken to pull my loose tooth out (which was only hanging by a thread I might add) and my adult tooth was already grown in next to it. I told you he took after me ...

So let's jump ahead a week or two. I kept checking on this loose tooth ... I told Kadin he had to make sure he was playing with it so it would fall out and the Tooth Fairy could come. Kadin and I started to wrestle ... which is something I don't do very often with either of the kids. That is more a Daddy game ... mainly because I don't want to get hurt!

I scooped Kadin up in my arms and went to throw him on the couch. Just as I let him go ... I heard the sound of teeth grinding ... and I immediately saw Kadin clutching his mouth. He had grabbed on to my sweatshirt with his teeth ... so when I threw him to the couch ... the sweatshirt got ripped from his mouth and guess what ... totally loosened that stubborn tooth.

We went to the bathroom to inspect the damage. He had a mouth full of blood ... and one VERY loose tooth. I have to say when I saw the tooth I was a bit relieved ... I was pretty confident we would not be visiting the dentist for this one. I had successfully - by accident ... loosened that tooth to the point where I knew it would fall out on it's own.

Two or three days later ... Kadin came home minus one tooth. And only like my son could ... we're pretty sure he ate it.

Me: "So, Kadin ... when did you lose your tooth?"

Kadin: "I'm not sure. I was sitting in my chair working and I went to play with it with my tongue and it was gone!!!"

Me: "So you didn't even know it was gone?"

Kadin: "NO!! I didn't know where it went!"

Me: "So, what did you do when you realized your tooth was gone?"

Kadin: "I told my teacher that I lost my tooth!"

Me: "I bet she was excited."

Kadin: "Yup ... she was."

And here's the proof ... just in case the Tooth Fairy didn't believe he really lost it ...

Now Is Not The Time

Is there ever a good time to be sick? I have been crabby for the last week because for some unknown reason ... my family cannot kick this sickness that has been floating around. I'm going to blame it all on Brian - not because it's necessarily his fault, but because I can. Hey - it's my blog I can do what I want! It was three weeks ago that he came home sick as a dog - shortly after that Bella got the swine, then I got something and the latest victim of this sick-spree is Kadin.

I swear to holy hell if this isn't the last of it ... I am going to be unbearable to live with. I'm tired of being coughed on and sneezed on ... I'm tired of taking temperatures and feeling backs ... I just want this to GO AWAY!!!!

AND - in the very least ... if our entire house had to get sick ... then why couldn't we all have gotten sick at the same time? Oh noooo ... we had to spread it out over an eternity so I could burn up as much vacation and sick time as humanly possible so when we are well ... we can't do anything even if we wanted to. And just as a random side-note here ... can someone please explain to me how a person can consistently work more than 40 hrs per week ... yet when they need to stay home with a sick child they are asked to use vacation???

Anyway, it does appears to be looking up. Kadin did attend school today so hopefully we have seen the last of this illness. Oh - and when Kadin's teacher asked him why he was out the last two days ... he told her he had "the swine." Yeah - great.

So there you have it. The tale of our house literally being plagued by the swine flu ... anyone want to come over?!?

Didn't think so ...