Farewell My Friend

I started this blog almost two years ago. In the beginning it was a great way to get those stories out there that needed to be told. To harness my frustrations through words ... to vent to the blog world. And even if only three of you religiously read it ... it felt good knowing someone laughed at my poop-ridden floor, or at my sticky-fingered son.

My mind was always full of new posts ... or ideas of what I could write about. In the beginning it was fun ... I looked forward to parking myself in front of the computer ... fingers flying at great speeds to get all my thoughts down into one little post. Oh the feeling of accomplishment when I would hit the post button and there would be my words for all to read.

That was in the beginning ...

I'm not sure what has changed. I find it hard to write about anything anymore. And although my kids are still the same quirky misbehaved little monsters ... ok - they are not that bad ... I find myself avoided this blog every evening. As you can tell by my lack of posts .... ahem.

So, it is with mixed emotions that I say ... farewell my friend. Farewell to this blog that I have had so much fun creating. I know it is time to move on ...

Will I blog again? Maybe, maybe not. But if I do ... I'll be sure to let those three of you know right away!

Thanks for reading.

Out.

They Call Him Sticky Fingers

Yup ... Kadin - a.k.a. sticky fingers.

I think I made a fatal error. I recently attended the BEST parent-teacher conference EVER! And not only did I attend the best parent-teacher conference EVER ... did I mention EVER (even though this was my very first one, I can't imagine it getting any better than it was) I then proceeded to go home and let Kadin now what a great kid he was. I gushed ... bad. I praised and kissed and hugged and cried - yes I actually cried.

I think all the praise went to Kadin's head - or I possibly scared the crap out of him. I think he went to school the next several days and caved under all the pressure of being the smart boy, the good boy, the boy with great manners.

We were at the Christmas Parade on Friday night. Brian absolutely loves this time of year. I think he waits all year long for this parade ... the official kick-off to his favorite season of all. He was more than pumped for this event.

Well the kids were trying their hardest to spoil Brian's fun. They were just out of sorts. They were hyper, crabby and their mood was quickly transferring to our own and suddenly the joy of attending the Christmas Parade was just turning into a chore.

The parade finally starts after listening to Kadin ask 80 times if it was going to start yet. We did have to wait about 20 minutes GASP for it to begin. Kadin pulled out some money from his pants pocket. He started muttering something about going inside after the parade and buying something with this money.

Now, first clue that something is amiss ... my children do not regularly carry money with them - ever. So of course Brian begins questioning him as to how and why he has come to have this money.

Turns out ... he took it ... from another kid's mailbox at school. Yup - Kadin is officially a thief. I was shocked. I never thought Kadin would steal ... I mean what could he possibly want that he doesn't already have???

So, it appears I have officially entered the world of learning how to punish my child for making quite a large mistake. And if I were a single parent ... I would be screwed. I honestly didn't know what to do ... What do you say to him??? I didn't want to come down too hard. So I did what any good mother would do ... I let Dad handle it! And he did a great job ... thanks Babe!

So, Kadin is not allowed to watch any television for 1 week and he has already written his apology to the student whose money he took. I'm pretty sure he feels really bad about what happened ... or at least he's a good enough actor that he has Brian and I snowed.

I guess only time will tell ...

I Gave In - The Tree Is Up

At least one of them anyway. Last year I finally convinced Brian to get an artificial tree. So as a compromise, I get to put my nice clean fake tree downstairs in our family room and he gets his messy stinky real tree upstairs in the living room.

We went to Menard's the other day to look at all the Christmas stuff. It was great ... the kids loved it and ever since I've had this itch to get all the Christmas stuff out. Today I finally caved ... well partially caved. I put up the artificial tree ... and got two little trees for the kids to decorate for their rooms.

I am beat. It was just me and the kids today and I feel like this is the first time I've sat down all day. Between running errands and putting up the tree(s) and playing games I'm pooped. I just want to curl up in a blanket and fall asleep to the soft glow of my freshly decorated tree. Aaahhh ... there is a blanket calling my name ...

Making A Mental List

There are so many things floating around in my head. A list of things that I don't want to forget. It seems these days my children are growing up in the blink of an eye - Kadin is working on his second big boy tooth already! Didn't he just lose one for crying out loud?

So here it goes .... stuff I need to write down so when I'm 80 and my grandchildren ask me when their parents stopped peeing the bed ... I can look back at this blog and tell them.

1. Bella is obsessed with band aids. At any given time she is wearing at least three of them ... on "boo-boo's" that only she can see. I've even caught her putting one on and five minutes later trying desperately to rip it off. When we go to Sam's Club we buy the ginormous box of 10,000 and it lasts us two weeks. We seriously need to look into stock in band aids - maybe I could retire off the earnings.

2. Kadin's obsession is numbers. His new thing is counting by two's and ten's and five's. He counts ALL. THE. TIME. I seriously mean all the time. Just tonight we were eating dinner and he was staring at his place mat. "Kadin - what are you doing?" He replied that he was counting the dots on Patrick "by two's". (he has a Sponge Bob place mat) OBSESSED!!! He reminds me of Rain Man. The kid is like a savant with numbers. And it's not just counting ... he's constantly asking what 8+4 equals or what 9+3 equals. I'm to the point where I want to hand him the damn calculator and tell him to figure it out on his own.

3. My weird children have never slept under their comforters on their beds. They've always slept on top of the comforter with a fuzzy blanket. Just recently we've convinced them to try sleeping under their comforters ... since it's getting chilly in the house. They love it. It is now an officially exciting thing to sleep under their comforters instead of using just their fuzzy blankets. So why am I telling you this? Because Kadin continuously calls it a comfortable. So, we'll be getting ready for bed and he'll say - "Mom ... can I sleep under my comfortable tonight?" It just melts my heart ... he's obviously not as obsessed with English as he is with Math.

4. We were eating dinner at my parents house a few nights ago. We were having steak on the grill ... the meal we always eat at my parents house because no one makes steak like my dad. I hope my kids remember how we always like to have Grandpa's steak on the grill .... hmmm ... so good! So we're at the table and we were discussing a fillet mignon that my dad had grilled. Kadin - the sponge - was trying to figure out what we were saying ... "Who's eating a flaming onion?!?" he blurts out. We were speechless ...

5. Bella is my sensitive child. Her feelings are easily hurt ... her ego easily bruised. If she gets in trouble and you yell at her ... she will look at you stone-faced and then slowly her little mouth starts to turn down and her face crumples. Then she will cry and cry like you just crushed her soul. Those crocodile tears run like the kitchen faucet and although I try to be stern ... that little sullen face gets me every time. Kadin is the exact opposite of sensitive. He is strong-willed and short-tempered. If you yell at him ... he yells back. Or clenches his fists like he's going to pound the daylights out of you. Just today he was frustrated with this game ... so in true Kadin fashion he threw it across the room. Brian went over and had a few words with him ... when Brian turned to leave the room ... Kadin proceeded to make faces at him behind his back. He's only five ... and already he's mocking us. I'm so looking forward to the teenage years ...

6. In kindergarten they sing. A LOT. I'm sure it gets the kids interested in learning things. There are songs about the days of the week, songs about the months of the year, songs about the weather, songs about the letters of the alphabet, songs about songs about letters. BLAH!!! There are more freaking songs than I can keep track of ... and you know what? As obsessed as Kadin is about numbers ... he's equally as obsessed about those damn songs. He sings them A LOT. I've reached the point where I truly can't stand these horrible songs anymore. And tell me this kindergarten curriculum creators ... why is every freaking song to the tune of "Jingle Bells"???? Hmmm ... there are plenty of other songs out there. Seriously. Oh wait ... he does have a song to the tune of "Reuben, Reuben". Yeah - I didn't know that song either ... so I had to look it up on the internet ... great idea!!!

7. Aahhh ... the joys of school-aged children. When they come home saying things that you know you've never said in your home. I still get Kadin dressed every morning. I know I should make him dress himself ... I mean his sister does and she's only three. So I'm a bad mom ... so I'm getting him dressed one morning and Kadin had to change his underwear. I'm going to put his underwear on and he turns to me and says "Mom! Don't look at my balls!" Yes, balls. I've never referred to Kadin's testicles as balls ... ever. So I asked him where he heard that word from. He said Parker, his friend at school, calls them balls. I told Brian that story because it cracked me up ... his reaction ... "I understand now why people home-school." HA!

8. Bella ran past me in the hallway holding her butt. I asked her where she was going in such a hurry ... "I have to take a dump really bad!" I wished I hadn't asked.

9. Bella LOVES to color. I think she loves coloring almost as much as she loves playing Barbie's. In fact she colors so much ... I think she might be better at it than Kadin. And I love her coloring because she uses colors that don't make any sense. She'll color a person's face orange and one arm purple, the other arm green. She'll ask me if I like it ... I say "That is so beautiful!" When I was small my grandma told me that I could color people whatever color I wanted. When I got to kindergarten I would color my people with purple and green hair. The teacher would give me frowny faces because that wasn't an acceptable hair color. To this day I still think that lady was wrong ... so Bella ... color on girlfriend! You want your person to have red skin (because it's a sunburn - as she would say) ... you go for it!

10. I'm pretty sure my kids genuinely love each other. That makes me feel good. When I see Bella bring home two cookies because she wanted to give one to Kadin or when Kadin saves some of his popcorn from school so Bella could have some ... those are the moments when I know we've done something right. I'm not going to dwell on the times that Bella has screamed for Kadin to leave her room ... or told him that he can't play with her. There's no need to mention how many times I hear Kadin yell "Bewwa ... NO!" Or how many times he corrects her when she says something wrong or doesn't do something right. Nope ... right now I'll just focus on the times when they wake up early in the morning and I can hear Bella run into Kadin's room to ask him if he wants to play. They sit in each other's room and play ... just play together ... no fighting or arguing ... just playing. It's awesome.

So, there you have it. A giant data-dump of my brain. Phew ... who knew there'd be only 10 things??

Look, But Don't Touch!

It's kind of a tradition that every year for Christmas Brian and I buy one new ornament. We search the stores for just that right one ... and it has to be something neat. Last year we bought a miniature Pac Man arcade game ornament that plays the Pac Man theme when you push the joystick ... it was awesome!

I have fond memories of when I was little. My grandma would drag up her fake Christmas tree from the basement and we would match the colored ends of the branches to the colored holes on the "trunk". The thing was so old and bare, but I loved it. She had the best ornaments. They were old and fragile ... I still remember she had a little tricycle that the wheels would move. I would zoom it around the floor and pretend like it was a real bike.

Then she'd put on this plastic candy garland. Oh know what I'm talking about? It was basically different shaped white plastic candies ... some were candy canes with red stripes ... peppermint disks with red swirls ... some were even wrapped in a red or green cellophane wrapper. It was gaudy and perfect ... and she had just the right way of winding that candy garland around the inside of the tree so the barren branches wouldn't look so bare.

I still miss that tree and those ornaments.

I hope someday that my kids will fight over who gets the cool old ornaments. I want them to have those fun memories of decorating our tree and looking/playing with the neat old ornaments we'll have. I want them to tell their kids about how Grandma and Grandpa always bought one new ornament each year ... and tell the story of our they would play with those ornaments when they were kids.

I said we search for those ornaments. Every year when the Christmas stuff hits the stores ... we are on the look out for "the ornament". The one cool ornament that will make the cut this year. We were in Appleton today and decided to go to the Hallmark store to look at their selection of ... you guess it ... ornaments. So, we were looking ... and the kids were looking too. We spotted a couple really neat ones that had moving parts and buttons you could push.

I noticed this elderly employee of Hallmark started walking toward Kadin who was enjoying watching one of the ornaments move as he turned the little handle on it. Now, I know that Kadin - at times - is not the most gentle kid in the world. BUT - I was fully confident that he was capable of turning that little handle on this ornament without breaking it.

She looked at him and said ... "Ooooh ... you better be careful with that. We wouldn't want it to break."

So, I noticed she looked a bit nervous ... so I shooed Kadin away from the ornaments and we started looking at something else. Well, Kadin spotted some candles. He loves to smell candles. In fact ... we had just visited Yankee Candle Co ... where he opened and sniffed about 15 candles (all without dropping or breaking a single one I might add). So, naturally he picked up one of the candles and started to open the lid so he could smell it.

Elderly nosey employee said "Gee ... you know those candles are glass. You wouldn't want to break one ... they are also very expensive."

Ummm ... ok. Yes, I realized they were glass and yes I realized they were expensive. I guess what I didn't realize was that children were obviously not allowed to touch anything in this store without said elderly crabby employee lady have a freaking fit!!!! Ahem ...

At this point I am irritated. I am irritated that this woman - who doesn't know us or know my child ... thinks that he is incapable of touching anything without breaking it to pieces. So, I turned to Kadin and said ... "Kadin, please put the candle back because we are obviously making that woman uncomfortable."

Kadin put the candle down ... with a look of confusion on his face. We took him to a different aisle of the store and we continued to look at some other cute holiday things. It wasn't until I noticed that this crabby old hag ... ahem ... was following us around in the store ... watching our every move ... that we decided to leave ... in a hurry.

As we left she had the gaul to say ... "Please come back again soon."

Uhhhh .... WHAT!!???! Brian turned to her and said ... "Not while you still work here."

We walked on our merry way ... to a different store ... where Kadin was allowed to touch stuff and maybe even break things into little bitty pieces - only if he wanted to of course.

What A Vacation!

Today was just a crummy day. So, I'm going to take this opportunity to vent ... a little ... ok - maybe a lot.

I think I'm a pretty good worker. I do my share and willingly work extra hours when asked. I've even been known to work an occasional weekend if need be. I go in early every day and on most days I stay past 5:00.

As you know ... from reading this blog ... my children have been sick. They have literally been sick for a month. And of course when they're sick ... they can't stay home by themselves. I try not to make Brian stay home all the time, so I have missed my fair share of work in the last month.

A couple of weeks ago I was home with Bella. When I returned to work ... I had an e-mail from my boss - asking me if I was going to use vacation time. I thought this was a bit odd ... because I had been home sick with a child before and was never asked to use vacation time for it. I was under the impression that by being an exempt employee (and one that works over 40 hours each week) it would be ok if I missed an occasional day for a sick child.

So I questioned why I was being asked to use a vacation day when I never had to do that in the past ... my response was that I apparently was supposed to use a vacation day before, but was never asked to do so. Yeah ... lucky me ...

So ... two weeks ago on a Wednesday I as home with Kadin. Then last Friday I was home with him again. Now, I completely understand that this appears excessive. I agree - it is. But ... when your child is sick what can you do???

The week I missed Wednesday happened to be the week of inventory. I worked 12 hours on Friday of that week. Last Friday when I stayed home ... I worked all morning from home while Kadin napped.

I went in today and saw that (without telling me) my boss put in two vacation days to cover the two days I missed. I am totally disgusted. Am I completely off the mark here or is that totally unfair???

If I am an exempt employee ... one that works over 40 hours each week ... shouldn't I be able to stay home with my sick child and not have to use vacation??? AND ... since I put in 12 hours one day and worked from home the other ... shouldn't I be able to use some of that time toward my work week and NOT be penalized a full 16 hours??

Oh you bet I complained and now it is in the hands of HR to decide my fate. I'm pretty sure my boss was thoroughly irritated with me today and you know what? I don't even care. If they dock me those 16 hours ... I swear I will start coming in at 8:00 and leaving at 5:00 because I don't see the benefit of working more than I have to ...

Vagina Monologues ...

I've never understood why children do the things they do. There are times when my children just freak me right out ...

Bella likes to strip down naked in the hallway before she takes a bath. I think she thinks it's funny to run around in the buff ...

Tonight was bath night. So, she removed her clothes in the hallway and proceeded to ask me if she could go in the living room and show Kadin. Hmmm ... show him that you're naked??? Yeah - probably not a good idea ... so I told her no. She started whining and crying ...

"WAAAHHH ... I want to show Kadin!!! WAAAAHHHH!!!!"

So I did what I do sometimes when I just don't want to argue and I just wanted her little tush in the bath so I could finish cleaning the kitchen!!! I told her ...

"Make it quick." Because seriously ... what's the harm? I know, I know it really isn't appropriate for your child to run around naked ... and yes I know that Kadin is getting a bit older now and perhaps shouldn't be seeing his sister and her private parts. Blah, blah, blah ...

So Bella happily did her run around the living room and when she got back to the bathroom she was just laughing. She turned to me and said ...

"Kadin kissed my gina!"

"WHAT!!!! He kissed you where?"

"On my gina ... hee, hee, hee!"

Oh good Lord in heaven ... she did not just tell me that her brother kissed her vagina ... not poked or looked at or accidentally brushed up against ... no she said kissed. I seriously could feel the vomit at the back of my throat. I seriously didn't believe her ... I thought - yeah, she must be mistaken. She surely meant elbow ... or knee ... hell even mouth would be better than her freaking vagina!!!

"Bella ... are you sure Kadin kissed your vagina? Show mommy where he kissed you."

"Yes! Right here!" Pointing to her vagina ... of course.

What do you say? I was speechless ... I felt wrong and dirty ... like now I was the on who needed a bath. I went into the living room where Kadin was innocently playing his Leapster. It was weird seeing him laying on the floor ... it was almost like I expected him to look different, like now he was a pedophile or something!

"Kadin ... did you really kiss Bella's vagina?" Don't ask me why I asked him that ... I think I was still in denial.

"Yes."

"Kadin, that's gross."

Yup ... that's all I said. Great parenting - I know. I couldn't even find the words to express the wrongness of that situation. I'm still speechless ...

Prince Jake Loses His Head

Bella LOVES her Barbie dolls. When I say LOVE ... I mean she will go to her room and dump them all over the floor and sit in there and play. She's very good about playing by herself ... most of the time. Do you know what she loves more than playing Barbie dolls by herself? Playing Barbie dolls with someone ... someone other than Kadin. I'm not certain, but I'm guessing it has something to do with the fact that everything Kadin plays involves shooting people and dying ... just a hunch ...

I despise playing Barbie dolls - which I find odd because I loved playing them when I was a kid. Her routine of playing Barbie dolls is always the same. We are always princesses and there is a prince who is getting married (because she has a "bride" doll) and we all have to dance. Seriously ... always the same. I am even only allowed to have the same dolls each time we play. Bella gets all the dolls with big dresses and fancy hair ... and I get all the crap. Every. Single. Time.

FUN!!!

So we were in her room the other night playing Barbie's and, surprise ... there was going to be a wedding!! Prince Jake (no joke ... that's what she named him) was going to marry all the ladies ... all 15 of them. I'm hoping this is not a sign of what her future relationships are going to look like, but I digress. So Prince Jake is preparing for his BIG wedding day ... to marry the 15 loves of his life.

Bella was meticulously sitting each doll in a row ... so they could each have a turn to dance with him. So I took my crappy doll and started talking to Prince Jake ...

"So, Prince Jake ... are you getting married today?"

"Yup."

"Are you going to change your clothes? You are wearing beach shorts and a tank top? That's not appropriate attire for a wedding."

"No ... I'm not changing my clothes. I don't have any other clothes Mommy!"

"Oh ... are you nervous about getting married?"

"No ... but my head falls off sometimes."

"Your head falls off?"

"Yeah ... my head falls off." As Bella is still seating all the brides.

At this point she turned on her little Barbie boom box ... and Prince Jake began to dance with each lucky bride.

So as Prince Jake began to dance with his brides ... Bella handed him to me so she could be all the brides.

"Ariel ... could I have this dance?" I ask in my most Prince-like voice ...

"Sure ... just don't lose my boobs"

"Ummm ... what?"

"You know ... just don't take my shirt off!" as Bella giggles ...

"That's not until after the wedding baby" the snarky Prince said.

Come on ... I didn't really say that!!! What kind of parent do you think I am???

I didn't say that ... I didn't say anything because I was too busy laughing! Aaaahhh ... maybe playing Barbie dolls isn't so bad after all.

The Story Of The Missing Tooth

Kadin: "Dad, I think I have a cavity."

Brian: "Why do you think that buddy?"

Kadin: "Because I have this bump in my mouth."

Brian: "Well, sometimes people get bumps in their mouths bud ... I'm sure it's no big deal."

Kadin: "Yeah - but I've had it since I was at Grandma's house!!!"

Me: "Kadin, let Mommy see. Where is this bump?"

Kadin: "Right here ... " as he point behind his bottom front tooth.

Me: "Hmmm ... it looks like you have some food stuck in your tooth. Here, come closer and let me see again."

Me: "OH MY GOSH!!!!! Kadin ... do you know what that is?!?!?"

Kadin: "No ... "

Me: "Kadin ... you have a big boy tooth coming in!!!"

Yup ... that's how we discovered that Kadin was going to lose his first tooth. I was so excited I think I almost started to cry. It was another of those moments when I saw Kadin's early years flash before my eyes ... as I wondered how on earth he was old enough to be losing a tooth.

After Kadin went to bed that night ... Brian and I discussed this loose tooth. In my meager experience with loose teeth ... I seemed to remember the adult tooth NOT poking up behind the baby tooth. I was a bit concerned that maybe his baby tooth wouldn't get loose enough and he'd have to have it pulled.

I know you all remember that Kadin is a bit of a ... well wuss ... like his mother ... ahem. The thought of him having to go to the dentist to get this baby tooth pulled was more than I could handle. I had a flashback to my own childhood when I was taken to the dentist for that very same reason. Ok - so maybe I actually was taken to the dentist because I was too chicken to pull my loose tooth out (which was only hanging by a thread I might add) and my adult tooth was already grown in next to it. I told you he took after me ...

So let's jump ahead a week or two. I kept checking on this loose tooth ... I told Kadin he had to make sure he was playing with it so it would fall out and the Tooth Fairy could come. Kadin and I started to wrestle ... which is something I don't do very often with either of the kids. That is more a Daddy game ... mainly because I don't want to get hurt!

I scooped Kadin up in my arms and went to throw him on the couch. Just as I let him go ... I heard the sound of teeth grinding ... and I immediately saw Kadin clutching his mouth. He had grabbed on to my sweatshirt with his teeth ... so when I threw him to the couch ... the sweatshirt got ripped from his mouth and guess what ... totally loosened that stubborn tooth.

We went to the bathroom to inspect the damage. He had a mouth full of blood ... and one VERY loose tooth. I have to say when I saw the tooth I was a bit relieved ... I was pretty confident we would not be visiting the dentist for this one. I had successfully - by accident ... loosened that tooth to the point where I knew it would fall out on it's own.

Two or three days later ... Kadin came home minus one tooth. And only like my son could ... we're pretty sure he ate it.

Me: "So, Kadin ... when did you lose your tooth?"

Kadin: "I'm not sure. I was sitting in my chair working and I went to play with it with my tongue and it was gone!!!"

Me: "So you didn't even know it was gone?"

Kadin: "NO!! I didn't know where it went!"

Me: "So, what did you do when you realized your tooth was gone?"

Kadin: "I told my teacher that I lost my tooth!"

Me: "I bet she was excited."

Kadin: "Yup ... she was."

And here's the proof ... just in case the Tooth Fairy didn't believe he really lost it ...

Now Is Not The Time

Is there ever a good time to be sick? I have been crabby for the last week because for some unknown reason ... my family cannot kick this sickness that has been floating around. I'm going to blame it all on Brian - not because it's necessarily his fault, but because I can. Hey - it's my blog I can do what I want! It was three weeks ago that he came home sick as a dog - shortly after that Bella got the swine, then I got something and the latest victim of this sick-spree is Kadin.

I swear to holy hell if this isn't the last of it ... I am going to be unbearable to live with. I'm tired of being coughed on and sneezed on ... I'm tired of taking temperatures and feeling backs ... I just want this to GO AWAY!!!!

AND - in the very least ... if our entire house had to get sick ... then why couldn't we all have gotten sick at the same time? Oh noooo ... we had to spread it out over an eternity so I could burn up as much vacation and sick time as humanly possible so when we are well ... we can't do anything even if we wanted to. And just as a random side-note here ... can someone please explain to me how a person can consistently work more than 40 hrs per week ... yet when they need to stay home with a sick child they are asked to use vacation???

Anyway, it does appears to be looking up. Kadin did attend school today so hopefully we have seen the last of this illness. Oh - and when Kadin's teacher asked him why he was out the last two days ... he told her he had "the swine." Yeah - great.

So there you have it. The tale of our house literally being plagued by the swine flu ... anyone want to come over?!?

Didn't think so ...

When The Man Is A Woman

I know this has to happen to other parents. When your children are in that mood ... where you know you should probably just stay home, but you really want to get out and go somewhere. So you take your chances and pack them up and head to your favorite store or restaurant.

So we're eating out ... and the kids are a bit energetic. Actually, for once Kadin is being quite behaved, but Isabella is all fired up. So we are sitting and eating our dinner when Kadin asks ...

"Mom, is that a man or a woman?" As he points to the nice elderly couple sitting behind us.

It was obvious to me that there was clearly one man and one woman. Yes, the woman was a bit heavy with big bushy short gray hair ... but she was clearly a woman.

"Kadin - that is a woman."

"But which one is the woman?"

"The one sitting behind me is a woman."

Now keep in mind I'm trying to say this under my breathe because I don't want this poor man to hear that my son is questioning the gender of his wife - nor do I want the woman to hear that my son thinks she looks like a man.

"Where? I don't see a woman over there."

"Kadin - the one with the bushy hair ... she is the woman."

"Oh"

Now Kadin was actually doing a very good job of keeping his voice down (this coming from the kid that doesn't know how to whisper). But then there's Bella ... oh sweet, fired up Bella ... who loves to copy her brother says loudly ...

"Mom - is that a man or a woman over there?" pointing with her syrup-filled finger.

I must've shot her the look of death ... because with one quick shake of my head ... she stopped talking.

I wonder what age I'll be when small children start to question my gender ... I don't think I want to grow old.

We've Got The Pig Flu!!

Well, it's official ... we have been infected with the swine flu. GASP!! It kind of feels like we have the plague ... like our house should be covered in caution tape ... the windows boarded up and padlocks put on the doors. There really is a stigma associated with this illness ...

Bella came down with a cough on Sunday morning. I really didn't think much of it since what kid doesn't get a cough now and then right? Well, by Monday night she had a fever and her little cough had turned into this awful hack and she was wheezing when she breathed. I quickly called the doctor and they were able to get her in right away.

As I entered the doctor's office ... it was like entering a different world. All over people were wearing masks and when I check Bella in at the desk ... the woman told me that Bella needed to wear a mask in case she had the H1N1 virus. To be honest ... I took her there with the worry that maybe she had bronchitis or pneumonia ... I never dreamed she would have the swine flu ...

So I forced Bella to wear this mask (which she hated every second of) and we finally got into the little room to wait for the doctor. We probably waited almost 30 minutes when the doctor finally came in the room. Bella immediately started crying ... because the guy seriously looked like a space alien. He had on safety glasses ... a surgical mask ... and a blue covering over his clothes almost like a surgical gown.

I started to think perhaps I needed one of those mask things. I mean was this illness really that bad that everyone had to walk around wearing protective gear???

So the doctor did his routine exam - looked in her ears, listened to her lungs, looked in her mouth ... and then turns to me and says - "well, I'm pretty sure she has it."

Ummm .... gee .... could he be a bit more specific??? Has what???

"Has what?" I asked.

"The H1N1 virus. It's a very mild case, but I'm almost positive that's what she has."

I was floored. At that very moment my brain shut down. I had a million questions but couldn't think of a single one. I wanted to know what that meant ... was my baby going to die like that little boy in TN who was completely healthy one minute and dead the next??? Did Bella need to be quarantined? Was I supposed to go to work? Could Brian go to school? Did I need to tell Kadin's school that he'd been exposed to the swine flu???

AAAGGGGHHH!!! I drove home with my sick baby in total shock. (only after the doctor led us out a back door so we didn't go through the waiting room again - apparently another swine flu precaution??? Just weird if you ask me) The only thing I remembered the doctor saying was that Bella had to stay home until she no longer ran a fever for 24 hours and until her cough was almost gone. The rest was a blur ...

That was Monday night. Bella has been home the last two days, but I'm happy to report that she is on the mend. We've had no fever since yesterday and her cough has much improved. In fact, I think she really enjoyed having her mommy and daddy all to herself these last two days because Kadin had been staying with my parents (just in case). Tonight is the first night he's been home since Monday - and man did I miss that kid!!!

So, hopefully life here can get back to normal ... or at least as close to normal as possible.

My Kids Made Me Do It

I need a drink ... someone ... anyone ... pass me the adult beverages ... now.

Why do toddlers repeat themselves? Why? Is it that they are so engrossed in their environment that they pay no attention to you at all? Is it possible that their hearing is underdeveloped at this age?

My sweet Isabella ... drives me insane. She continuously repeats herself. Continuously repeats herself ... continuously. Get it? AAGGHHH!!! It's like being in the middle of that joke - "Who's on First?" except it's really not funny ... well maybe that joke isn't funny either .... oh - who the hell knows - my kid has turned my brain to mush!!!

I spent the ENTIRE day with my children. Alone. Whenever I do this ... it solidifies my insecurities about being a mother ... mainly that I shouldn't be one. Or, that I am totally awful at it! Brian always says things to me like "they're not that bad for me" or "maybe I just have more patience than you". Oh yeah???? Well suck it!!! Ahem ... You know what I think it is?? I think they hate me ... so when I am their only caregiver and Daddy isn't around ... they act out as part of their scheme to drive me into the psychiatric ward. "Bye-bye Mom" ... as they watch the patty wagon haul me away ...

We were at soccer this morning (where Kadin scored the last minute winning goal I might add - Woot, woot!) and we took both cars because Brian had to leave right from the game. So Bella was totally confused because we arrived to the game in the car, yet we were leaving in the truck.

"Mommy ... where's the car??"

"Daddy is taking the car so he can go to his football game."

"Why are we taking the truck?"

"Honey, I just told you ... Daddy is taking the car to the football game so we need to take the truck home."

"Where's Daddy?"

"Is-a-bella ... (giving her the evil don't-mess-with-me-anymore mother eyes)

"But where is he?"

"Are you serious? Bella ... I just told you three times that Daddy is going to his football game."

"But where's the car?"

This is the type of conversation I had ALL. DAY. LONG. I couldn't even make that up!! And she didn't do this to just me either ... I caught her doing it to Kadin too ...

Grandma - "Kadin, who is the little boy that Grandpa says you walk home with after school."

Kadin - "Guess."

Me - "Well, is he in your class?"

Kadin - "Yes."

Me - "Is it Parker?"

Kadin - "Nope"

Me - "Is is Isiah"

Kadin - "Nope"

Bella - "Is it Parker?"

Kadin - "No, I already said it wasn't Parker."

Me - "Well, that's all the boys I know from your class ... I'm going to need a hint."

Grandma - "Give us the first letter of his name."

Kadin - "It starts with the letter D"

Bella - "Is it Parker?"

Kadin - "NO!! You already asked that?"

Me - "Daniel?"

Bella - "Is it Parker?"

Kadin - "BELLA!!!! IT ISN'T PARKER!!!! NOW STOP ASKING ME THAT!!!!"

Grandma - "Is it Donovan?"

Kadin - "Ooh - you're close Grandma!"

Bella - "Is it Parker?"

Kadin & Me - "BELLA - STOP IT!!!"

I'm pretty sure Kadin wanted to sock her ... and to be honest ... I kind of did too. I'm fairly certain I remember Kadin doing this when he was Bella's age ... I just don't remember it being so annoying.

Did I already mention that I could us an adult beverage? Oh, I did ... maybe that's where she gets it from ...

Thoughts From My Chariot To Hell

I look at my life and think I'm pretty blessed. In fact ... when I really sit and think about it ... something that I don't often do ... I wonder why me? Why did God bless me with two healthy children when so many people have sick kids? Why did God pair me with a loving partner who does WAY more than his fair share ... when so many people are alone ... raising their children as single parents?

I feel like I should be down on my knees in prayer ... thanking the Lord for my every blessing. But do I? Sadly ... no ... at least not very often. And when I get to that place when I start to think about these things ... my mind starts to wonder ... when? When is the shoe going to drop ... when is my happily ever after going to come to a screeching halt? I can't be happy and content forever ...

There is a running joke that I'm on a chariot to Hell ... that I am the charioteer in fact. I am steering my own course straight to the depths of Hell ... why you ask??? Because in my life that is rich with God's blessings and love ... I sometimes think and do things like this ....

The neighbor girl's voice sounds like an alien. (I know ... and my kid touches himself, but we're not talking about Kadin right now) I catch myself actually making fun of her voice in my head when she is over playing princesses in Bella's room. It is screechy and loud and it has a funny pitch. I often wonder if it's something she will grow out of ... or if she's going to sound like that for her whole life. She is four.

Kadin comes home every day with projects he made at school. I quickly look at them and immediately want to throw them away. All I can think about is how I don't have enough room to possibly keep every little scribble and glittery piece of artwork. I hide them in the corner for a few days and eventually take them downstairs and shred them. Now before you think I'm a completely horrible mother - I do keep some things he makes ... gheesh!

I'm semi-convinced that Bella may have a learning disability. She's simply not that bright. She still talks in baby talk, eats crayons and when we ask her about her day she gives a blank stare like she can't understand what we're saying. I think she may have smacked her head one to many times during her developmental years ... she will be living with us until she's 40.

I hate Phillip the neighbor boy. Brian and I routinely make fun of him ... in particular ... ... ... no we pretty much make fun of everything about him. He looks like a goon and he continually tries to bribe the kids to come over to his yard since he is banned from ours. I enjoy seeing him watch the kids play from the hedge ... knowing that he can't participate ... and seeing how much fun the kids are having without him. Sometimes I will give the kids treats just so he can watch them eat it ... insert evil laugh here ... or I'll bring out something really fun just so he can watch them play with it.

Christina, Phillips sister, has a lazy eye. Her right eye looks in a completely different direction than her left eye. Living in the 21st Century ... I question why her parents didn't take her to a physician to have that corrected. When we first met her I was concerned that perhaps Kadin would stare at her ... or ask her what was wrong with her eye. I don't think he even notices ... I'm the one that has a problem with it ... I wonder if she can see in two different directions like a super hero? And when the sun is really bright I notice that she has to keep that eye closed ... like a pirate. I find myself saying "ARGHH ... me can't find me treasure" when I see her with her squinty eye. She is six.

Ok ... so, maybe I embellished a few things just a bit ... or did I?

The Day I Went To School And Regretted It

Last night was Parents' Night at Kadin's school. A night when parents could chat with their child's teacher and learn about what they do during the day ... the activities, the curriculum ... the whole deal. It was a night for parents only ... leave the kids at home and come and learn about how your child is learning. Sounded pretty cool ...

So Brian and I were planning to attend ... that is until Brian decided to get sick. I am in no way implying he got sick on purpose to miss this function ... I'm just tellin' it like it is, because frankly I'm a bit pissy today ... ahem ...

So ... I was flying solo on the Parents' Night ... it was just Parent Night for me. So I arrived at Kadin's classroom promptly at 5:30 and I was the first one there.

"Hi, am I the first one?"

"Yes ... come on in and have a seat."

I should have known that going to anything alone regarding school never works out well for me ... remember the incident with Kadin wailing in the hallway at the final parent outreach activity I attended? Don't remember that goodie ... go here.

So Kadin's teacher approaches me and I quickly realize that she already knows I am Kadin's mom. Not a good sign - not so sure.

"Umm ... I wanted to discuss something with you about Kadin."

Oh great ... it's only the third week of school and I'm already having this conversation??? Why did I show up to this thing???

"Oh ... sure. What is it?"

"Well, today Kadin was complaining that he was itchy." As she makes a scratching motion on her side. "So, I just thought you should know ... that he's been itching ... quite a bit"

"Oh ... ok." I have no clue what this woman is talking about. Itching ... what does he have a rash I don't know about ... is he allergic to something??? At this point I am utterly confused.

"I told Kadin that if he feels like he needs to itch himself ... then perhaps he should go to the restroom."

Hmmmm .... restroom for itching .... not really following this woman at all ...

"Normally when I see a student itching himself three times I make it a point to make sure the parent is aware that this is happening."

Alrighty ... itching ... restroom ... the light is finally turning on in the head ... yeah when she says "itching" what she really means is grabbing and when she made the motion on her side what she really should have done was grab her crotch ...

She was politely ... albeit awkwardly trying to tell me that my son obsessively grabs his junk during school. Awesome ... and the only reason I put two and two together is because he does this at home ... at the store ... at restaurants ... basically everywhere - so of course ... why wouldn't he do it at school. Awesome ...

How do you correct this behavior??? Seriously??? As Kadin's teacher and I continued to chat ... I was thinking to myself ... does she really think we didn't know he was doing this?? Like maybe at our house we all grab ourselves and this is where he picked it up?

Brian and I have tried everything we can think of ... we tried ignoring it ... we tried different kinds of underwear (the kid has more underwear than Brian and I combined!) ... I tried telling him that once he started school he couldn't do that in front of the other kids because it wasn't appropriate ... I tried telling him that people would always think he had to go potty. Absolutely NOTHING has worked.

In the meantime, Kadin's teacher continued to share her thoughts with me ... "Normally I would be more disturbed if I thought the child was playing with himself ... but I don't think that's the case here."

Yeah - great ... that makes this whole situation that much less humiliating for me ... thanks so much! What do you say to that?? Ummm ... really ... because I'm pretty sure he's just jacking off right there in your class ... OMG!!! If I could've fit under those damn little tables I would have crawled underneath and dug my way through the floor and out of that god-for-saken classroom ... but instead I calmly replied ...

"Oh no ... I don't think he's doing that at all ... I really think it's just a habit."

AAAGHHH!! Someone. Shoot. Me. Now.

I'm not sure I'll ever go back there ... I think next time Brian can brave it alone.

Julie's Wedding

So I promised some pictures ... and I didn't want to be lazy - HA!

First, let me say that it was a fabulous time! And if I'm being completely honest ... which I am ... then I will tell you that I was a bit skeptical about this wedding. It was so nontraditional that I was afraid it was going to loose some of the meaning and feeling of the day.

I could not have been more wrong! It was a simple, intimate ceremony that was full of love and laughs and completely awesome. Julie and Jake certainly captured every meaningful moment ... it was a bit nontraditional, yet every bit them and it just worked perfectly.

Thanks Julie and Jake ... for being in my life ... and being a part of my family. I love you both so much!

Here are some of my favorite photos ...






Look at those "gang" symbols - HA!

Bad Blogger ... Bad, Bad Blogger

So it is official ... I am officially a horrible blogger. I can sit here and make up excuses like - "well, we had a really busy summer" because we really did. But I would be lying if I was implying that I never got on the computer. In fact on most evenings ... I am on the computer - I have a slight addiction to Facebook.

Many evenings I come to this blog in fact ... open it up and sit and stare. I struggle to come up with anything of substance. My promise of one post a week ... yeah, good thing I'm not held to most of my promises!

So, this morning I was up at 7:00 (couldn't sleep) ... no kids in the house ... no work to get ready for ... and I thought it would be a good time to pound out a post.

Kadin has officially entered the world of full-time school. It is his second week and I'm pretty sure he is enjoying every minute. I asked him what his favorite thing about school is so far ... he told me it was the before school program. HA! I think he thoroughly enjoys being able to just play ... one of his favorite past times.

I was actually pretty proud of myself for dropping him off on that first day and not breaking down in tears. On the way to school I was telling Kadin how he is going to the same school that I went to when I was his age. I had one of those life coming full circle moments and as I was talking my voice began to quiver ... it was a bit emotional, but I kept it in check and didn't shed a single tear. My mom was waiting for us in front of the school to greet Kadin on his first day ... I watched him run down the sidewalk into her arms ... it was such a moment. I wish I would've had my camera to capture it in film ... but ... I'm a bad mother and totally forgot to take a single picture on his first day ... oops!

Kadin's little girl friends around here are going through Kadin-withdrawal. I came home for lunch yesterday and I was met with two little smiling faces at the door ... "Is Kadin home?" I felt horrible having to tell them that he was at school ... their little heads drooped down and they slowly walked back into their yard. It's nice to see his "energetic" behavior is missed ...

Bella seems to be adjusting well to life without her brother. I wondered what she would think considering they've been together almost everyday since she was born. Kadin will bring her treats from school ... one day it was half his bag of popcorn ... the next day it was a cookie. I can see how much he loves her ... I hope they are still that close when they are teenagers ...

Today my very best and dearest friend is getting married ... which is why I have no work to get ready for and no kids to force to brush their teeth! In roughly six hours I will be standing at Julie's side as she marries the love of her life ... pretty awesome stuff. Saying I can't wait is such an understatement ... I feel like I'm exploding inside!

So ... I am off to hop in the shower and make myself presentable for the big day ... lots of pictures to come ... if I'm not too lazy to post again!

Invasion Of The Body Snatchers

I never saw that movie ... but it just seemed fitting.

So last week I actually took three days off of work ... in a row ... it's the longest I've been off since I started my new job over a year ago. Man, was I ready for a vacation! Our mini-vacation took us to the Dells. We stayed at the Kalahari Resort and it was fabulous ... we got a great deal on a suite and we thoroughly enjoyed the water park and amusement park.

But that's not really what I want to discuss ... nope. After we left the Dells we took a detour and headed for Marshall, WI. Anyone ever heard of it? Anyone know where it is? Yeah ... I didn't either. So we had these certificates for free admission to this amusement park called Little Amerricka. Check out their website here. I know what you're thinking ... so cute! Little amusement park with plenty of rides for the kids ... what great family fun!

So here we are when we first arrived at Little Amerricka ...

Just a few things to note ... my dad is actually smiling in this picture. I took several pictures of him over the course of our trip and noticed that he doesn't really smile for photos ... not that he wasn't having a good time because I know he enjoyed himself ... just something I guess I never noticed before. So there is clue number one that something was amiss ... dad was smiling. Clue number two ... what ... what is Brian doing there? Do you see it? Here ... take another look ...


What ... is he plugging his nose??? Oh yes ... yes he is. Are you wondering why he would be plugging his nose? Probably because of this ...



Little Amerricka is located next to a 1,000 cow farm. There were seriously so many cows on this farm that you couldn't even see the dirt ... or manure ... they were stepping on. So the smell ... ummm ... how can I put this ... was less than appealing. I spent most of my time at Little Amerricka looking something like this ...


Seriously ... it was that bad. I don't think I can accurately put into words how horrible the smell really was. Imagine having your whole shoe covered in manure and having that smell follow you around for hours. Now multiply that by ten ...

Everywhere we looked there was something weird. Like these little boats ...



You can see the kids enjoying their boat ride ... out next to the park was a family fun ... cemetery ... it was just creepy. Add who can forget the creepy carnies that you get at every carnival type place. Except these carnies where well past their prime. I think it was a retirement retreat for carnies ... you had to have greasy gray hair and a pot-belly to work there.

The best part by far was the train ride. I think the train was the only ride assembled before the 70's and with the exception of taking us into a giant field and making a sudden stop ... almost as if those old carnies were going to rob the silly tourists blind ... it was a fairly enjoyable ride.

One definite positive about Little Amerricka is you seriously get your money's worth on the rides. They let you ride for a l o n g time. I think Brian and Kadin were on the bumper cars for 20 minutes ... and little Bella must've went around this roller coaster 10 times.



So ... if you're ever in the Madison area and want to veer off the beaten path ... grab a gas mask and head on over to Marshall. At least we didn't bring home a gold fish ...

The Princess And The Pea

Although Bella is not a princess and there really isn't a pea involved at all ... it just sounded catchier than the kid with a Pixo ...

I have spent the last several days with this killer sore throat ... like it hurts so bad I can't sleep sore throat. I almost didn't make it through work yesterday and my thought process was to just make it to lunch time so I could go home and maybe take an hour cat nap.

So I was met at the door by two incredibly enthusiastic children - that's a nice way of saying hyper as hell - that were beckoning me to go in the living room and to play with them. All I wanted to do was crawl into my bed and snooze for 45 minutes. I could tell from the expression on Brian's face that his whole day had been like this ... two incredibly "enthusiastic" children begging to be played with. Sigh ...

So I was scouring the kitchen for something to eat since my cat nap seemed completely out-of-the-question ... when Kadin requests my presence in the living room ...

"Mom ... come in here and look at this big mess Bella and I made."

"Oh buddy ... I really don't feel like looking at a big mess right now. I'm trying to find something to eat."

"Mom ... please. You've got to see this big mess."

So I shuffle myself over to the living room to see a good portion of my carpet covered in Pixos. Don't remember what Pixos are? They are these insanely small plastic beads that you make into little creations ... spray them with water and they stick together for life ... although they don't really stick together all that well unless they are sticking to mucous covered skin as we will soon find out ...

"That's great Kadin. Now why don't you work on picking those up?"

Grumble, grumble ... that was the extent of what I caught of Kadin's answer to my suggestion.

A few minutes later the microwave was humming with my leftover lunch quickly warming inside it. Over the hum I heard Kadin yell for me.

"MOM!! Bella just put a Pixo up her nose!!"

Aaah ... yes ... my darling little girl and her utter fixation with shoving things up her nose. Remember the plastic flower? How about the metal barrette? Piece of corn anyone??

By the utter grace of God himself I was secretly praying that Kadin was totally making this up to get a rise out of his sick and miserable mother. Alas ... as I rounded the corner I found Bella with the look only a puppy could give after they chewed the crotch out of your underpants ... she was Totally. Guilty.

"Bella ... did you put a Pixo up your nose???" Which I said in the closest thing to a yell I could muster through the pain.

A meek nod was all I got. She was busted ... and she knew it.

You see ... the unfortunate thing about Pixos are that when they become wet ... they get sticky. Since the inside of your nose is covered with snot ... it was a great place to adhere itself to. Great for the Pixo ... not so great for us. She had literally shoved that little thing so far up her nose that you could barely see the blue reflection in the light of the flashlight.

We had that girl blow her nose at least 20 times ... nothing. That thing would not budge. I was certain we were going to be taking our third trip to urgent care. I called the doctor ... the helpful nurse suggested that we try blowing her nose ... "Gee ... I hadn't thought of that!!!!" What in the hell did she think we'd been doing for the last half hour??? Did she think perhaps we tried picking it out with our GIANT fingers???

I was completely frustrated. They couldn't get us in for another two hours ... and that's when I noticed it ... the wheels in Brian's head were spinning so fast I could almost make out faint wisps of smoke emerging from his ears.

He started to disassemble a pen ... he got out the vacuum cleaner and continued to attached the empty pen casing to the smallest attachment we had with duct tape. Holy hell ... he was going to try and suck that Pixo from her nose with the vacuum cleaner!!

Poor Bella didn't know what to do ... she didn't know whether to be scared, interested, confused or shocked. Kadin just stood by with his mouth hanging open as Brian diligently turned on the vacuum and stuck the pen into Bella's tiny nostril.

As a mother (a paranoid one at that) it was almost too much for me to watch. I had to turn away ... yet some sick part of me had to look too. I watched him struggle to get the pen past her nostril because it kept sucking onto the sides of her nose ... it was quite the sight to behold.

Unfortunately the vacuum didn't suck out anything other than some boogers ... gross I know. That damned Pixo was still lodged up there. I was beginning to think our efforts were hopeless.
Brian told Bella to give it one last big blow ... and there it was ... one single blue Pixo neatly placed on the kleenex.

SUCCESS!!! The vacuum must have loosened the Pixos' sticky grip just enough for Bella to blow it out on her own. I called the doctor back to cancel our appointment ... the lady asked if we had decided to take her to urgent care instead.

"No ... we were able to get it out ourselves."

"WE USED THE VACUUM!!!" Kadin so graciously yelled behind me.

Social services is coming on Thursday ... HA!

Master Decorator - I Am Not

I signed up for this cake decorating class at Michael's. There is this lady I work with that makes these amazing cakes. When she told me that she was taking classes I thought she meant at a culinary school, but when she told me they were offered through Michael's I was so excited! I have always loved to bake and thought it would be so much fun to decorate too!

My first class was Monday. Let me begin by stating that typically this course is a four week course - one class per week. Well, I guess the lady is going on vacation the last part of August so our course is crammed into just two weeks - two classes per week. So Monday - our first class - we basically just sat and watched her ice a cake. Now, nothing against the teacher because she's a sweet lady, but she demonstrated out to ice her cake with this fancy tip and bag ... now I'm guessing that most people in the room ... like myself ... don't have much more than a spatula at home to ice with. So I wished she would have showed us what we would've looked like at home spreading our icing with a tiny spatula.

I digress ...

So Monday was our first class ... Wednesday was our second class. For our Wednesday class we needed to come to class with an iced cake. So ... that meant on Tuesday night I needed to bake and ice my cake for my Wednesday class. You can do the math ... I barely get home before 5:30 ... I need to bake a cake ... let it cool enough so I can ice it ... make my icing (did I fail to mention that part?) ... and smooth out the icing all before going to bed. Ummm .... yeah ...

So let me tell you a little bit about my Tuesday night ...

I got home and immediately started to work on my cake. I had gone to the store on my lunch hour to get all the ingredients I was going to need to make my cake and icing. So I got the batter together for the cake (yes it was boxed) and popped it in the oven. Next it was on to the icing. Now in class our teacher told us that the icing would be very stiff ... and when she made it in class to show us ... she used a stand mixer. So I mixed my ingredients together and started blending them with my little hand held mixer ... yeah ... I had chunks flying all over the counter ... in my hair ... all the while my little mixer was on the highest speed, but barely moving.

My icing was totally lumpy and crumbly. It was horrible. By then I realized I needed to check on my cake. I clicked on the oven light ... "hmmm ... that cake doesn't look like it's rising at all." Nope ... it was about as flat as a hockey puck and as if that wasn't bad enough ... it was crooked. WHAT???? I has successfully failed at baking a boxed cake. Let's just say what little confidence I had about this class was completely gone. How can I decorate a freaking cake when I can't even bake one?!?

At first I thought I could still use it ... so it was a little flat and lop-sided, but maybe it was salvageable. UNTIL ... I tried to get it out of the pan and it broke in half. Splendid ...

Now I was mixing cake mix #2 ... and praying I'd have enough energy left to still ice the thing when it came out of the oven.

To make an incredibly long story short ... the second cake turned out fine and even made it out of the pan in one piece. My gracious father-in-law allowed me to borrow his stand mixer (it's totally awesome BTW!!) so I was able to successfully make non-crumbly icing and it only took me until 9:45 to finish icing my first cake. Can you say t i r e d ??

Apparently I should've stopped at the icing part and skipped the decorating because on our second class we decorated our iced cakes. Yeah ... mine turned out like this ...



I really think it looks like a small child did it. If Bella weren't only three I'd tell people she made it. I'm beginning to think that cake decorating is not for me.

At least it tasted good!

Nah-nah Nah Nah, Nah-nah Nah Nah ...

Hey Hey Hey ... Goooood Bye!

That's what we said to Phillip as we banned him from our house for life almost three weeks ago. It has been pure bliss to say the least ... and I'm sad that we didn't do it sooner! I was worried that Kadin would ask for him to come over, but it has been quite the opposite ... he now asks to play with Phillip's sister Christina and no longer mentions Phillip at all. I think it really proves that Kadin didn't really like that kid anyway ...

So, I'm sure you're wondering what Phillip could possibly have done so we would #1 - ban him from the house for good and #2 actually stick with banning him from the house for good.

Well, well, well ... it all started when Brian saw Kadin and Phillip on the deck together. He was watching the kids through an open window so they didn't know they were being watched. They were playing doctor ... with a small doctor kit Bella had gotten ... anyway as Brian is spying on them he sees Phillip pull Kadin's pants part way down and appeared to look at his private parts.

Brian semi-freaked out when he saw this so he went out there and asked Kadin to come in the house. After Brian had the talk with Kadin about how it isn't appropriate for other people to see or touch your privates ... he then went out and had a talk with Phillip, after which he sent Phillip home.

So, I got a call at work. Brian told me what happened and we mutually agreed that Phillip didn't need to come over anymore ... that was it. I also thought that perhaps Phillip's parents needed to know what happened and urged Brian to go over there and have a talk with them.

So Brian hangs up with me and immediately Bella comes up to him and tells him that Phillip had pulled down her underpants and put things in it. At this point Brian was furious and asked Bella to show him exactly what Phillip did ... she proceeded to pull her pants away from her body and drop a helicopter (from a tree) down her pants.

So ... I realize that Phillip didn't actually touch either of their privates, but something about an older boy doing this to young kids just creeps me out!! I mean this kid is 9 years old ... he should know better ... he should certainly know that type of behavior is not acceptable.

It gets better ... Brian goes over and talks to "the dad" ... the ruler of the roost ... the enforcer of the rules ... and he shrugs it off like it's no big deal!!!

"I've raised kids for over 20 years and they will experiment with this type of thing. My other kids went through it as well."

Ummm .... excuse me??? We just told you that your kid is a creepy molester (ok - maybe not quite a molester) and that is what you have to say? Where is the "Gee - I'm really sorry" ... or "I will definitely have a talk with him"?? Instead we got parenting advise from a man who is so involved with his own agenda he doesn't even see the obvious problems with his own child.

I do agree ... children will experiment with their sexuality at some point ... and yes I'm sure they will experiment on each other as well. BUT I certainly hope that if/when my children do it ... it is not on a toddler that is many years younger than them. I don't care what Randall has to say, that is creepy and wrong ... no matter how many years you've raised children.

The truly only good thing that came out of that ordeal was peace and quiet ... aaahhh. No more fighting or broken toys ... no more gum smeared on my cars ... Phillip has left the premises to never return again.

Life is good.

Introducing Orange White

We attended the Amherst fair this weekend. Brian and I took Kadin several years ago when he was still a baby ... that's when we thought that kids his age would get a kick out of seeing cows, pigs and sheep. In reality ... he could've cared less about the animals ... and he was too little to play any games or go on any rides ... it was a waste of time.

Now that the kids are older ... they can appreciate the fair a little more. This kids beg to play all the games and ride all the rides. $100 dollars later you have a car full of cheap crappy toys that will break 10 minutes after you get home and your tummy is turning circles from the vat of grease you just ate.

So we arrived a the fair around 1:00 ... only to find that the thing didn't officially start until 2:00. I have to admit I was a bit puzzled why on a Saturday, the fair wouldn't start until 2:00, but ok ... so we wound our way around all the stinky animals before hitting the fairgrounds.

They had cows ... my personal opinion about cows is if you've seen one cow ... you've pretty much seen them all. They had sheep and pigs ... rabbits and all kinds of poultry ... many of which I couldn't tell the difference between. I felt like I needed a course from the 4-H club ... "What kind of bird is that mommy?" ... "Ummm .... a chicken ... no wait it's a rooster ... ummm ... I'm not sure sweetie." Gheesh ... it was horrible!

Bella particularly liked the roosters (which I knew were roosters only because they made the cock-a-doodle-doo sound) and she refused to leave the area until she heard them crow at least 10 times. It was quite cute to see her ear-to-ear grin each time they would let out their call.

I made friends with the goose from Charlotte's Web ... and enjoyed listening to her honk. I tried getting the kids as excited about her as I was, but they didn't seem to care ... I knelt next to her cage thinking "T double E, double R, double I, double F, double I, double C, C, C ... and when I snapped out of my childhood haze ... my kids were long gone staring at fuzzy rabbits.

So, we left the animals and headed over to the fair which was now up and running. The kids dragged me through a "fun" house ... which I didn't find much fun. Here are some pictures of the kids enjoying the rides ...







We ended with games. The sad thing about carnival games is they are expensive and don't take very long to play. I mean how long does it take to pick a duck or pop a balloon with a dart? (If you're Bella ... it takes a bit longer than most) All these things take minutes ... and when they are done with one, they are off to the next. A parent could seriously go broke!

I ended the fair with the goldfish game. Let me preface this story by telling you that Kadin has already been the proud owner of two carnival goldfish (Goldie & No Name) ... that I forced my mother to take care of because I am very anti-pet. Those last two attempts at winning a goldfish required Grandma and Grandpa to shell out mucho-dollars because a five-year old's aim isn't the greatest.

I figured my chances were pretty great that I could spend $5 on a bucket - oh yes a bucket - of balls for Kadin & Bella and there was no way in hell either one of them would come close to those tiny bowls. I watched Bella chuck a couple of balls that didn't even make it near the table ... and Kadin, although his aim - better ... wasn't even close.

But wait! Oh ... the ball ... it's teetering ... it rolling around the rim like a basketball on the basket ... is it in ... nope ... wait ... IT'S IN!!!!

Son of a @#$# ... that darn kid just won a stinkin' goldfish ... and this time I can't even make my mother take it because it was my stinkin' idea!!! So that is how we acquired Orange White (I know my kid has a way with names) the newest member of our family .. and that my friends was the end of the fair.

Say What?

So we were browsing around Hobby Lobby this last weekend ... awesome store by the way ... and Kadin noticed a nut cracker doll on one of the lower shelves. He began to move the lever up and down so the doll's mouth would open and close ... I said to him ...

"Kadin ... that's not a doll buddy, it's a nut cracker."

"Yeah? Well it could crack my nut!"

In his defense he did have a peanut in his mouth at the time ... I'm just sayin' ...

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Yesterday Bella runs in the house from outside, barrels past me and yells - "I have to poop mom!"

"Ok - tell me when you're ready to wipe." She doesn't really have the whole wiping process down yet.

"Mom! You've got to come here and see this!" Ummm ... great

"What sweetie?"

"Look at the giant poo-poo! See? Look at all that poo-poo mom!"

"Oh, yup ... that's great. Are you done?"

"No ... I just wanted to show you all that poo-poo. I really had to go ..."

"Yes ... it appears you did."

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Tonight we were eating steak for dinner ... sitting out on the patio enjoying the evening weather. Brian asks me if I would like more steak ...

Kadin: Don't say hate daddy.

Brian: I didn't say hate.

Kadin: Yes you did.

Me: Kadin, Daddy didn't say hate ... he asked me if I wanted more steak.

Kadin: Oh, it sounded like hate.

Bella: I don't want anymore hate - I'm full.

One L O N G Weekend

Damn it's a busy summer! I think we are booked every weekend until Brian goes back to school. Here's what we've been up to ...

The 4th of July holiday was jammed packed with summer fun. My very best friend had her wedding shower. It was great to get together with friends and celebrate Julie and Jake's marriage. It was at a park, which was great for the kids since they could run around and play ... it was great for the adults because we could actually hold a conversation because the kids were occupied! I seriously had a blast. Here are some photos ...

Me and my very best friends ...



The bride and her bridesmaids ...


The proposal ...


Ok - I know what you're thinking ... why in the world would he propose to her when they were already getting married?? That is a great question ... and the answer is that Jake always does things his own way in his own time. I think in his heart he knew that he wanted to marry Julie and make it official, but I really think the thought of actually proposing to her terrified him. So, he didn't do it ... they basically agreed that they would get married without the formal proposal.

Now if you talked to Julie ... she would tell you that it was no big deal. Fortunately for her, I know her well enough to know that as much as she didn't want to admit it, it bothered her that she didn't have "the ring".

Well - she isn't bothered anymore!! He got down on one knee in front of everyone and officially made her a bride ... I loved every minute of it ... and I cried like a baby ... ahem.

The next day was spent out at the cottage with Jake & Julie. It was gorgeous weather and the kids took advantage of the water ...

Jake and the kids built a crazy sand castle moat ... they had such a great time. Jake has such a way with them ... he adores them and they adore him. I watched them interact together and he's truly a natural with them ... I know he'll make a great dad some day ... maybe some day soon right Jules??? HA!

Here they are creating the moat ...




And destroying the moat ...



I don't know which they enjoyed more!

Then Sunday was another day spent at the beach ... this time with the extended family. We went swimming, boating, more swimming ...

It was seriously the l o n g e s t weekend, but it was so much fun. I went to work Monday morning tired as heck ... longing for several more hours of sleep!

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Oh, and since I've devoted a majority of this post discussing Jake & Julie's wedding details ... I have to share with you this too cute dress I think us bridesmaids are going to wear ...

I'm off to David's Bridal over the weekend to try it on ... so exciting!!

Too bad I won't look like her in it!

The One Stall Rule

I'm interrupting your regularly scheduled day with an impromptu post ...

I was working today and was on my way to the restroom. I ended up following a lady in ahead of me and I was making my way to "my" stall ... because I always seem to use the same stall when I'm in there ... don't ask me why ... seriously don't ask.

So I'm heading to "my" stall when the lady in front of me makes a turn and heads right in to the stall I'm heading for. Great ... so in mid-stride I try and change my course, but I end up looking really weird ... Why you ask?

I could have easily turned and headed into the stall next to her ... but this is when I realized something about myself ... I always leave a courtesy stall in between myself and anyone else using the bathroom.

Why I do this ... I have no idea. But it got me to thinking ... is this just some weird thing only I do ... or are there other courtesy "one stallers" out there?

Now back to your regularly scheduled life ...

The Good, The Bad, The Kadin

I love my son. What a truly unique person God created ...

I usually describe Kadin to someone who is asking as being difficult and challenging. I started thinking about what those people might think ... it's not typical that a parent would describe their child that way. The truth is ... it is easier for me to focus on all the hard times ... all the times when that little boy makes me want to rip my hair out. It's easier for me to say that he's difficult ... so that when he really is, people won't be surprised. Kind of like "hey ... I told you he was difficult" so that way I won't be embarrassed when he acts up.

The problem with that theory is ... no matter how much you may warn people about impending bad behavior ... when it happens, it's still embarrassing!! When he throws a fit at Grandma B's birthday party ... it's still embarrassing even though all those people know Kadin is "difficult".

Brian had a particularly rough day with Kadin. It is on days like today when we wonder if every value we are trying to instill in our child is even penetrating ... are we even getting through? It is those times when I feel like a parenting failure that I turn to those moments when I know I've done something right ...

The kids were over at Sara, the neighbor girl's house, a couple of weeks ago. They were playing in the sandbox and I noticed Sara's parents were deep in discussion about something. I walked over just to make sure everyone was behaving themselves and Sara's mom told me how they were just discussing Kadin. "Now what did he do?" - I think were the first words out of my mouth ... she laughed ... I felt bad that I said that out loud.

Apparently Sara has a thing for butterflies ... she LOVES them. Well, the kids found a dead butterfly in the grass and Sara was upset. Kadin took the butterfly and threw it in the fire pit. When Sara asked where the butterfly went ... Kadin told her he threw it in the fire pit, which sent poor Sara into a meltdown. Sara went and told her mom what Kadin did and how she was so sad about this poor butterfly being tossed into the fire pit ... Sara's mom proceeded to tell Sara that maybe Kadin was just kidding about putting the butterfly into the fire pit.

Sara headed over to Kadin and asked him if he really put the butterfly into the fire pit or was he just kidding ... Kadin looked over at Sara's mom, smiled and said - "No, I was just kidding. I don't know where the butterfly went." He got it ... he understood that in order to make Sara feel better ... he needed to tell a fib ... and he did.

Standing there in the neighbor's yard I was struck at what a mature response that was from a boy that I sometimes think is immature. I was so proud of him ... and proud to be his mom.

Today while I was giving Bella a bath she told me how she fell at Phillip's house and scraped her knee. (she actually said Phillip pushed her which is a whole other story) She continued to tell me that it was bleeding and she was crying ... and how Kadin picked her up, gave her a hug and carried her home. Kadin did that ... her big brother ... my son.

It would be great to think that all my days could be filled with situations like that. What parent doesn't dream of their child always being the helper, the protector, the "good" kid. If I'm being honest ... those situations probably come more often than I think ... unfortunately it's the bad stuff that we seem to remember. I have to keep reminding myself of all the reasons why I love Kadin so much ... what makes him, well him. It's everything ... it's the good, it's the bad ... that's Kadin. I wouldn't want it any other way.