Vagina Monologues ...

I've never understood why children do the things they do. There are times when my children just freak me right out ...

Bella likes to strip down naked in the hallway before she takes a bath. I think she thinks it's funny to run around in the buff ...

Tonight was bath night. So, she removed her clothes in the hallway and proceeded to ask me if she could go in the living room and show Kadin. Hmmm ... show him that you're naked??? Yeah - probably not a good idea ... so I told her no. She started whining and crying ...

"WAAAHHH ... I want to show Kadin!!! WAAAAHHHH!!!!"

So I did what I do sometimes when I just don't want to argue and I just wanted her little tush in the bath so I could finish cleaning the kitchen!!! I told her ...

"Make it quick." Because seriously ... what's the harm? I know, I know it really isn't appropriate for your child to run around naked ... and yes I know that Kadin is getting a bit older now and perhaps shouldn't be seeing his sister and her private parts. Blah, blah, blah ...

So Bella happily did her run around the living room and when she got back to the bathroom she was just laughing. She turned to me and said ...

"Kadin kissed my gina!"

"WHAT!!!! He kissed you where?"

"On my gina ... hee, hee, hee!"

Oh good Lord in heaven ... she did not just tell me that her brother kissed her vagina ... not poked or looked at or accidentally brushed up against ... no she said kissed. I seriously could feel the vomit at the back of my throat. I seriously didn't believe her ... I thought - yeah, she must be mistaken. She surely meant elbow ... or knee ... hell even mouth would be better than her freaking vagina!!!

"Bella ... are you sure Kadin kissed your vagina? Show mommy where he kissed you."

"Yes! Right here!" Pointing to her vagina ... of course.

What do you say? I was speechless ... I felt wrong and dirty ... like now I was the on who needed a bath. I went into the living room where Kadin was innocently playing his Leapster. It was weird seeing him laying on the floor ... it was almost like I expected him to look different, like now he was a pedophile or something!

"Kadin ... did you really kiss Bella's vagina?" Don't ask me why I asked him that ... I think I was still in denial.

"Yes."

"Kadin, that's gross."

Yup ... that's all I said. Great parenting - I know. I couldn't even find the words to express the wrongness of that situation. I'm still speechless ...