New York - In A Nutshell

As much as I'd love to tell you EVERY detail of my trip to New York City . . . I know it's probably not the greatest thing to sit and read about someone else's trip. I'm sure unless you've experienced it first hand . . . it could be rather boring.

BUT I don't care . . . I want to share, share, share!!! So, buckle your seat belts folks as I take you on my trip to NYC!!

It was fabulous!!!! I had the greatest time - and you know how sometimes you can go on vacations where it's just a day too long and you wish you could go home . . . well it wasn't like that at all . . . it was the perfect amount of time and we jam packed those four days baby so hold on tight cause here we go!!!

It was the perfect flight in to NYC - smooth, gorgeous views . . .

We stayed at The Algonquin Hotel . . . the oldest hotel in NYC. The room was small, but what it lacked in space it completely made up in character. What a cool place. The hallways and staircases reminded me of an old apartment complex . . . it was just overflowing with charm and nostalgia. It also had a resident cat that roamed the front lobby of the hotel and every day when Brian and I would come and go I would look for this cat. She'd be on the luggage rack or on the counter of the check-in desk . . . just fluffy and cute . . . almost always sleeping amidst the bustle and activity. Cool . . .

We walked all over Manhattan . . . I don't know how many miles we logged, but damn my poor feet felt like they were molded into my shoes. We walked through China Town, Little Italy, Greenwich Village, Soho, Tribeca . . . not to mention all around Times Square, Central Park and Battery Park. There was just so much to see and I felt more in awe as we rounded each corner and crossed each block.

We took a ferry to Liberty Island to check out the Statue of Liberty. I just have to tell you that I am so proud of my husband for buying us advanced tickets online!!! When we arrived at Battery Park to catch the ferry people were not only standing in line to buy their tickets, but once they bought them they had to wait 1 1/2 hours just to board the ferry! Because we had advance tickets we were able to skip the long lines . . . it was awesome.

So we make our way to Liberty Island and there she was . . . Lady Liberty in all her glory. Unfortunately it was the foggiest day EVER so my pictures are kind of crappy, but man was she beautiful.

We got to go up to the observation deck and take a closer look at her - after climbing 163 little steps of course . . . yeah - it was as bad as it sounds! But the view at the top was soooo worth my burning legs and out-of-breath lungs . . . I felt like if I reached up high enough I could touch her . . . it was a great feeling and what a sight to behold . . .

There really are no words that can describe how completely cool it was to see her. On our last night in New York we took a cruise on a boat with glass walls. The boat went right up to the Statue of Liberty and we got to get a close look at her in the night with her torch ablaze and her crown of lights - it took my breath away. Her details were so clear . . . as we really didn't see them in the fog . . . the wrinkles of her gown . . . the outline of her face . . . it's a moment I'll never forget.

On our last full day in New York we went to the Brooklyn Bridge. It was probably my second favorite thing we did. What an awesome view! From the bridge you could see the Statue of Liberty in the distance, the Manhattan and Brooklyn skylines and you got a great view of the Manhattan Bridge. Other than being EXTREMELY windy . . . it was the warmest day we had - it was nearly 60 degrees . . . it was great!

I'll close with some of my favorite shots of the wonderful buildings and architecture. I just loved walking through the different neighborhoods seeing the different styles of buildings. I had such a great time!

So - there you have it! Probably WAY more than you ever wanted to know. So we've been home for almost a week and things are back to "normal" . . . one maxed our credit card later . . . and I still wouldn't have changed a thing!

Home Sweet Home

Man, is it good to be home. Today has been a whirlwind of trying to get back in the swing of things . . . back to work . . . back to being a parent . . . back to life as I know it.


I'm not even sure where to begin! Christmas . . . oh yeah it was Christmas wasn't it?!? Geesh, it seems like eons ago . . . Christmas was great! Brian's family came over on Christmas Eve and the house was filled with laughter, screaming kids, good food and some good drinks as well. Kadin was looking forward to cousin MacKenziee coming over all day and when she arrived he definitely wasn't disappointed. Those kids ran themselves ragged - and Kadin finally ended the evening with a full blown temper tantrum because he was completely out of steam . . . poor kid . . . poor parents . . .


We woke up on Christmas morning to Kadin yelling into Bella's room something about how she had to get up right now because he thought Santa had come last night. They both ran into the living room and found their presents from Santa . . . I heard Kadin yell . . .


"Santa ate one of the cookies and bit the head off the gingerbread man!!"

Brian and I just laughed as we sat in bed listening to their excitement. It was great . . . as we rolled out of bed I realized that it felt rather cold in our house . . . a quick check of the thermostat and we found it was a balmy 59 degrees. YIKES!! Come to find out that one of the kids must have flipped the switch to our furnace and shut it off . . . I guess it's a good thing our house is well insulated!


Just as the house was warming up we all got dressed and piled in the car headed to my parents house. We spent the day there relaxing, playing and just enjoying the company of family. It was absolutely perfect. What a great Christmas!!


I'll close this post with our favorite Christmas gifts this year . . .


Bella's favorite gift was a dress up trunk that Grandma and Grandpa H got for her . . . after she opened that trunk she was done. She refused to open any other gifts and trust me at Grandma and Grandpa H's house - there was PLENTY more to open. She tried on every dress in that trunk . . . oh - and there were jewels too!!! She was in princess heaven . . .





I'm not sure what Kadin's favorite gift is . . . for the first time he has actually played with all of the things he's gotten. If I'd have to gauge his favorite by sheer level of excitement I would have to say that it would probably be the V-Motion video game we got him . . . which is basically a little kid version of Wii.


For myself - hands down it's my Sony camcorder . . . thanks Mom & Dad! I'm still not sure how to use it . . . but I can't wait to learn.

I hope you all had a great Christmas!


Oh - and I know you are probably wondering how the trip to New York went . . . I'm hoping to get some pictures up tomorrow . . .

Twas The Eve Before Christmas Eve . . .

And we were busy as ever . . .

Trying to make all the preparations, but oh - we were clever.

The gifts were all wrapped and placed under the tree . . .

To unwrap and surprise members of our family.

The kitchen was alive with snacks being made . . .

Into the wee hours - we would not be dismayed!

The kids were excited, they knew what was to come . . .

Yummy treats the next day maybe candy canes or gum!

Chocolate dipped pretzels, sugar cookies and more . . .

We would bake and would bake until our bodies hit the floor.

The dusting rags flew and the broom it did sweep . . .

We were beginning to wonder if we'd ever get to sleep!

But these moments we cherish as our children grow too fast . . .

We look back and we pray that they forever will last.

Santa Claus will be coming, yes this part is true . . .

May the miracle of Christmas still live inside you!

Merry Christmas!

What Day Is It?

Woah . . . it is becoming apparent that I am lacking time this month . . . time to relax, time to blog, time to get done all that I need/want to. I'm not even sure what day it is - fortunately we have so many Christmas countdown calendars scattered around this house that I can confidently tell you that there are four more days until Christmas . . . which freaks me out more than just a little.

So what have I been up to? So glad you asked . . . ok you probably didn't ask that but I'm going to tell you anyway. Yesterday I attempted to finish my Christmas shopping . . . unsuccessfully I might add. Why are some people just so hard to buy for???? Uggghhh! So, I slid around in the snow trudging from store to store only to wind up 4 days from Christmas and still not done with my shopping. You'd think after many years of doing this to myself I would learn . . . obviously not. I guess there's always next year!

Today the kids and I made cut-out cookies. The last several years my mom and grandma have joined us for this fun project, but because it was like -40 wind chills today . . . the kids and I braved the cookies alone. I swear I don't remember cut-outs last year taking four hours! I am completely pooped after rolling, cutting, frosting, decorating, cleaning and cleaning and cleaning . . . I think this is the first time I've sat down all day. I think Bella ate more sprinkles than she put on the cookies and I hope the family doesn't mind some Kadin saliva smeared all over his cookies . . . I just laughed as I watched him sprinkle, like his fingers, sprinkle, like his fingers. His fingers were so caked with spit and sprinkles . . . o'well . . . maybe I'll only put out the ones I frosted myself. Hee . . . hee . . . hee.

So tomorrow I am back to work for two days and the only thing keeping me sane is that Brian is home so he can hopefully finish all the things I can't seem to.

OH - and did I even mention that in five days I will be boarding a plane for New York City??? Yeah -I figured I didn't . . . probably because I have been all-consumed with Christmas.

I will leave you with a funny Bella story completely unrelated to Christmas, but sure to put a smile on your face and a queasy feeling in your stomach . . . ahem . . .

So - Bella's potty training has been going fabulously! She is pretty much trained and could even possibly go all night with no accidents, but we still diaper her when she sleeps. So, the other day we had breakfast for dinner . . . eggs, bacon, toast, pancakes . . . the works. She tells us that she has to go potty as we're eating. So Brian takes her to the bathroom and when they are finished he comes back with this horrified look on his face . . .

Bella was doing her business in the bathroom. She likes to look into the toilet and watch the pee fall in . . . while she was looking - she noticed that she had a little something stuck to her vagina . . . she looked at it . . . continued to look trying to figure out what it was . . . takes her hand, plucks this little thing and pops it into her mouth. She turns to Brian . . . "Egg!"

I just want to know how a piece of egg even ended up there in the first place!!! I guess we'll never know . . .

Crabby Lady

Yup . . . that's me. I know I should be reveling in the joys of the Christmas season . . . but I'm not . . . at least not today. Today I'm just plain crabby . . . so in the season of crabbiness, I'm going to list all the things that have made me crabby today or just crabby in general . . .

• I woke up this morning not feeling the greatest - I think I might be catching the kids' colds
• I'm not done with my Christmas shopping
• It's too cold
• My co-worker is ALWAYS sick. In the six months I've worked there she's had bronchitis, a lung infection, a sty in her eye, the stomach flu, several colds, and today I had to watch her walk around complaining about a queasy stomach.
• My boss (there's just nothing more to say there . . . )
• Bella went potty on the toilet in our master bath and when I went to flush it - I realized the pipe was frozen
• There's also a mysterious ice patch in the corner of our bedroom on the wall . . .
• Then I found another icy patch in the corner of Kadin's bedroom wall . . .
• Our builder . . . I called him tonight after discovering the above three items . . . he acted like he didn't know about these problems even though we've been after him since LAST WINTER to come and fix them.
• Courtesy calls . . . even though we don't have extra money right now . . . who can say no to children's cancer research???
• My children . . . they constantly bicker and copy each other . . . tonight I wanted to sell them.
• Potlucks . . . how is it fair that some people sign up to bring BBQ's and then others sign up for Cheetos???
• Why are salaried employees expected to work so many more hours? I would rather take a pay cut . . .
• My kids always take off their socks and then leave them all over the house. I know - it's just socks . . . but tonight it really bugged me.
• Kadin can NEVER sit still when I brush his teeth. I truly think it's physically impossible for him to sit still ever . . .
• People who re-gift things with dates. I got a candle from my Secret Santa at work that said "1999 Home Interiors & Gifts" on it. WTF - did she seriously keep this candle for 9 years - just to give it away to someone as a gift??? I burned it the other day . . . it smelled like it was 9 years old . . .
• I ate way too much chocolate today and I haven't worked out for a week
• When I put big things in my washing machine - it won't spin. So things like comforters and rugs come out soaking wet. Brian washed a rug on Saturday morning - we had to hang it over the tub because it was dripping . . .

Ho, ho . . . . oh forget it . . . . bah humbug!

Parent Outreach

Kadin's school has these events they call "parent outreach" events. These are days when they ask the parents to come to school and spend some time with your child doing something fun . . .

Since Brian is in school - he basically will never attend a field trip or parent outreach activity . . . that responsibility lays solely on me. Now don't get me wrong - I enjoy spending time with my son at his school . . . looking at his art projects and usually making one too. HOWEVER it never fails that during these things Kadin will embarrass me somehow in front of all the other children and their parents.

At Kadin's first field trip to the apple orchard he had a fit in the middle of the trees because he wanted to pick more apples and they were only allowed to pick one per child . . . . embarrassing.

So - since then I've tried to lay down ground rules in the car before we get inside. No screaming, no whining and we must follow the same rules we do in school. I always get the nodding of the head and the "yeah I understand mom" as we quickly exit the car and make our way inside.

This activity was decorating sugar cookies and making a craft. When we walked in, the sugar cookies were already on the table . . . and it was all I could do to keep Kadin's little mits off of them as we waited for everyone to arrive. So they finally passed out the frosting and we began our decorating . . . . four cookies for each child . . . Kadin had me frost them and he decorated them with sprinkles galore. He actually did a really great job . . . he took his time and added just the right amount of sprinkles on each cookie.

When it was time to start the craft I was thinking heck - this is going great. Ummm yeah - that was my first mistake I guess. Our craft was to make a paper chain where we had to glue these little strips of paper together and make a chain. I honestly don't know where I went wrong, but this happens to me often. See, being Kadin's mother I see myself in these situations where I know I'm in trouble. He started getting frustrated with the paper and glue . . . then the whining started . . . I kept control long enough to finish the craft and get us out of there!

Looking back I should have left right then, but no . . . I made the costly error of asking my son if he needed to go potty before we left. He said yes, so I told him to show me where the bathrooms were. We headed down the hall to find the bathrooms . . . he then asks me to go in there with him. I told him that Mommy couldn't go in the boys' bathroom so then he headed toward the girls' and says "well, let's go in the girls' then."

I loudly said "NO!" as he was about to head in the doorway. He turns around with this stunned look on his face and I tried to explain to him that he definitely cannot go in the girls' bathroom and that he needed to go in there by himself like he does every day when he's at school. He got this sad look on his face and then proceeded to tell me that he doesn't need to go to the bathroom anymore. So I'm thinking that instead of starting an argument right here in the hall - we'd just leave and I'd take my chances.

I turn to leave and I notice that Kadin is not following me. He has stopped several steps away from the boys' bathroom and is staring at me. So I look at him and ask him if he's decided to go use the bathroom . . . to which he says yes. He begins to walk BACKWARD to the bathroom and ends up walking directly into the hard wall . . . . SMACK . . . . head against hard tile wall.

SCREAMING . . . . . . . SCREAMING . . . . . . SCREAMING . . . . .

Teachers are now emerging from their classrooms to see what has happened to this poor child that is now wailing and flailing in the hallway. Other children are watching in horror at this spectacle . . . and I have no clue what to do. I was horrified . . . if there would have been a trap door I could escape through I would have done it.

There are no words to describe how angry I was with Kadin. Again . . . he had succeeded in embarrassing me in front of all these people . . . truly I never want to take him to another one of these things again.

AND - I feel badly for feeling that way. What kind of mother doesn't want to take her son to school functions??? Why do I let these things embarrass me? I know some mothers would say - "oh, just let people stare - who cares what other people think" . . . and it's not that I necessarily care what other people think, but I just really hate his behavior! The constant whining . . . the contant frustration with everything . . . it just gets so hard to deal with on a daily basis.

So - here's to hoping that there is not another parent activity for awhile . . . or at least until I muster up enough confidence!

Tonight At Dinner . . .

Kadin yelled . . . .


"Who ever has a wiener - raise your hand!!"

I looked around to see Kadin's hand up in the air and so was Bella's . . .

Hmmm . . . .

Well . . . she was eating a hot dog . . .

Kids & Santa

That's the name of the awesome event we attended on Sunday sponsored by the YMCA and the Boys & Girls Club. All you had to do was bring in some non-perishable food for Operation Boot Strap or a toy for Toys-for-Tots and you could get in FREE! What a great way to increase donations for some very worthy causes and provide families with something festive to do on a Sunday afternoon. Brilliant . . .

Here's the kiddos having a great time . . .

I am crazy in love with Kadin's face in this photo!! Here little Bella is sitting on Santa's lap just chatting away about who knows what and then comes my boy - who barely wants to get near Santa, much less sit on his lap - are you kidding me??? He did sit long enough to ask Santa for Pixos and a new marble tower. Oh, and the most important question of all - "What are your favorite kind of cookies?"

Just in case you're interested . . . . . . . . it's frosted sugar cookies with sugar sprinkles.

"Lick Me"

Most of you that know Brian, know that he loves to joke around. One of the things I love most about him is his sense of humor . . . and if you all could have a window into our daily lives you would probably see our family acting goofy and juvenile at some point in our day. It's what makes life with two small children fun . . .

My mother had our kids today so Brian and I decided to start our Christmas shopping. Keep in mind that Brian LOVES to shop - and it's me that usually can't stand the crowds, the lines, the browsing (I absolutely HATE browsing!!!), but today I was ready to tackle those stores head on.

So we end up at Wal-mart . . . no big surprise and we have a cart full of goodies and we go to check out. I'm sure you've all seen this commercial where Wal-mart advertises that they have more checkout lanes open to "make your shopping easier." Yeah - so as we make our way to the front of the store we notice that there really aren't that many lanes open and that Wal-mart obviously practices false advertising.

I do a quick count of the items in our cart and realize that we have only a handful of things so I steer our way over the the express lanes thinking it will be faster. We take our place third in line (not too bad) and then I notice that the cashier is having trouble with something. She can't get this item to scan and then another employee comes over - well Brian and I look at each other and make a bee-line for the next line over thinking that we'll be waiting forever in this line since the cashier doesn't seem to know what she is doing.

So - in line number two we take our place second in line (hey, we're moving up!) and then we quickly realize that cashier number two is having difficulty ringing up a coupon. She tries to enter it . . . . . nope, that doesn't work. She takes the item back out of the bag and tries to ring it up again . . . . . . nope that doesn't work either. By this time Brian is losing what little patience he has left and quickly races over to the "Self-Checkout" lanes.

Let me just give you a quick rundown of our experience with the "Self-Checkout" lanes. THEY NEVER WORK RIGHT!!!!! Every single time I have used one of those stupid things a lady has had to come over and enter some special "you are an idiot and obviously don't know what you are doing" code to allow me to take my things . . . . . so when I see Brian making his way over to the self-checkouts I already know we are in trouble.

At this point I just stand back to watch the show . . . Brian begins to scan each item and everything seems to be working great. He scans our credit card and goes to sign on the little screen with the magic pen. So he signs and then it happens . . . the little red light comes on and here comes the lady with the special "you are an idiot and obviously don't know what you are doing" code so we can be on our way.

If you've ever paid using a credit card you know that on your receipt is printed a copy of your signature. Well Brian is chuckling as he takes the receipt and proceeds to show me that on our receipt is not only a copy of his signature but right below his signature is written "LICK ME". Yes - my thirty year old husband wrote the words "LICK ME" with the little magic pen when he signed his name.

We go to leave the store and the alarms go off as we exit the doors. The employee comes over and says . . . .

"Can I see your receipt please?"

Oh . . . . . sure you can . . . . chuckle, chuckle.

My Very Girly Tomboy

Bella and Brian were playing with her Princess figurines on the floor tonight . . .

Daddy holding the Cinderella doll: Let's go to the ball!

Bella holding Aurora: Ok!

Daddy: Oh, I just love the ball!

Bella: Me too . . . I love ball games!

Can you tell she watches baseball and football with Daddy??

Back To The Grind

Oh how I wish every weekend was a holiday weekend! I had THE BEST time sharing laughs with family and seeing people I haven't seen in awhile. It is crazy to see all the cousins and second cousins getting together . . . there sure are a lot of little kids running around during the holidays . . . and a few skirmishes over toys, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's amazing when you can walk into a room full of family and truly feel the love. It was almost hanging in the air like a room spray . . . you could see it, feel it and taste it. I wanted to wrap myself in it like a blanket . . . so great. That's what the holidays are all about!!



So after we stuffed ourselves silly with turkey and pies . . . mmm . . . mmm . . . we headed off to the waterpark for a splashing good time. We had never been to the Kalahari Resort before and I have to say that I was quite impressed with that place. So I won't bore you with every detail - we splashed around in the water, played some games, won some cheap toys and had a great time.










I have no idea why Bella insisted on closing her eyes every time she smiled - I'm guessing that is her new way of smiling now. There were several other pictures of her with that crazy closed-eye grin.





Kadin actually went down a rather big water slide all by himself. That was one thing that I really liked about this place - they had a lot of things for smaller kids to do, yet they weren't so small that they were boring. Kadin LOVED these big water slides and he was so proud of himself for going down them alone.

AND just because I am officially in the Christmas spirit - a couple random pictures from our Christmas parade. Keep in mind it was on one of the coldest nights we've had yet - I think with the wind chill it was -2! (I know - I'm not sure why we went either!)

Brian and Kadin were troopers and watched the entire hour long parade. Bella and I had to sneek into ShopKo until Santa Claus arrived . . . poor Bella was like a little popsicle! She reminded me of the little kid from A Christmas Story . . . all bundled up in her snow pants and snow coat (as Kadin calls it).

So . . . my wonderful holiday weekend is over and it's back to the grind of work, school, meetings and everyday life. Throw an attempt at potty training in the mix (oh yes you read correctly!) and this week has already been very interesting . . . and it's only Tuesday!

I Am Thankful . . .

Thanksgiving . . . the holiday of giving thanks for everything we have in our lives. I'm just so thankful for so many things this year . . .

• My children - that they are happy healthy and are able to drive me bonkers on a daily basis
• My family - that we can not only spend Thanksgivings and other holidays together, but spend those ordinary sit around and chat over dinner days together
• My husband - that he values his family more than anything, that he is a wonderful father to our children, that he makes us all laugh and smile everyday
• My job - that it provides for our family and even though I truly dislike it on most days, the comfort it brings knowing I don't have to worry about job security is priceless in this economy.
• My babysitter - she has truly helped raise my children to become the amazing individuals they are today. How do you thank someone for that??? She has amazing patience and a kindness I have only seen in select people . . . we are so lucky to have found her!
• My home - I absolutely LOVE our home . . . the comfort I feel when I walk inside the door, the smells and the sounds bring me endless joy and during this holiday season I feel it even more as this house fills with friends and family.
• Health - Thank you Lord for bringing us health and healing this year and allowing all of our closest family members to be with us this holiday season - there is nothing better than to watch the littlest family members interact with the oldest generations . . . what great memories that makes!
• Happiness - I am truly happy and contented with my life right now and I am so thankful for that feeling . . . the feeling that I am right where I belong with my two children and my loving husband living close to family.

I know there are more things than just this list contains. It would take me days to capture all that I am thankful for this year. I love the holiday season - spending time with the people that matter the most to you - making memories and traditions . . . these are the times I cherish as a mother, wife, and friend.

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving . . . to take the time to really think about what you are thankful for.

I Am Blessed!

I'm not exactly sure how this happened, but for some reason God blessed me with the best friends in the world. I grew up an only child, and I can remember times when I longed for a sister - someone to play with, tell secrets to . . . well God must've heard my prayers because although they are not blood . . . I have two wonderful sisters in my life.

I can't tell you what growing up with a sister would be like . . . I didn't have one. BUT I can't imagine it would be any different that growing up with my two girlfriends. We laugh together, cry together and even drive each other nuts . . . and as we've grown older together I've realized how important they are in my life. We've watched each other move away, switch careers, switch boyfriends, have children - and through it all we've remained a threesome connected by our utmost love and respect for one another.

I had the pleasure of hosting a "girls' weekend" this weekend and I truly can't express how much fun I had!! For a moment I felt like I was in high school again, just being silly and acting goofy and laughing until I cried. And even though we may not talk everyday or every week . . . when we all come together in the same place it's almost as if time stood still . . . we pick up exactly where we left off and each time we leave each other, we leave with a new appreciation of how we are each an exceptional woman.

Wendy, Julie . . . thank you so much for coming! I had the best time . . . and I'm truly lucky to have two "sisters" like you. May we grow old laughing, crying and acting like idiots together.

Just Me & My Kids

Brian left tonight for his "man trip". I call it the "man trip" because only a group of guys would drive all the way down to Nashville to catch a football game and THEN as if that wasn't enough driving - from Nashville they are heading down to New Orleans to catch another football game. Only men would do that! I don't even think most women would do that for the best shopping mall in the world . . . ok - maybe some would, but not me.

It was strange saying good-bye to Brian tonight. As he was packing and the kids were rushing around trying to help I just felt sad. I wasn't sad because I wished I could go, or because I didn't want Brian to go . . . just sad because I won't have my best friend around for four whole days. And as corny as it sounds . . . as he was saying his goodbye's I actually got a bit choked up! He walked out the door and I really felt like crying . . . and it's only for four days!!!

I don't think I've been alone in this house for more than one night - and I realize I am certainly NOT alone since I have the two little munchkins with me, but sleeping in my bed alone is something that I am not looking forward to. The house always seems so lonely and a bit scary at night when it's just me and the kids.

Plus, it's just nice to have a reinforcement around to help out with kid-related things. Tonight is a perfect example of how things just take soooo much longer when I am by myself. We didn't eat dinner until almost 7:30 and then came baths and by the time I got the kitchened cleaned, the kids cleaned and hair dried, teeth brushed, stories read and hugs & kisses given it was almost 9:15! I am bushed and it's only night one . . .

Here's to a safe trip and a speedy return. I miss you already Brian and it's only been four hours.

Love you.

Parent-Teacher Conferences

So on Tuesday, Brian and I attended our very first parent-teacher conference. It's strange even writing those words! I still can't believe my little boy is in school!!!

I don't want to BRAG . . . but this is my blog so what the heck! I can't express how proud I am of Kadin. As a parent it seems like I'm always questioning what the heck I'm doing. Am I messing him up for life, am I teaching him how to be polite and respectful? Am I showing him how to be a good person and am I setting a good example? Am I making sure he is thankful for all that he has in life and am I teaching him to give back to the people that don't have as much?

There are days when I'm sure I'm failing. We all have those days as parents when we are at our wits end and the days seem like years. We all have those embarrassing moments when you want to turn away from your child and pretend - just for a moment - that the child climbing inside the clothes rack and knocking all the shirts to the floor at Target isn't yours. When that nasty **** word slips from your lips and little ears seem to pick up on it so the next day you hear him repeat it while he's playing with his toys.

Then there are days like Tuesday - when you attend your first parent-teacher conference and your son's teacher confirms that you are indeed raising an intelligent, polite and delightful little boy. YES!! And then you remember that you really knew that all along, but it sure is nice when someone outside of Grandma and Grandpa tell you so.

If I'm being completely honest - I never really worried about Kadin when it came to intelligence. I could tell from a very early age that Kadin was smart - in fact I think he's too smart sometimes. What Brian and I always worried about was the social aspect of school. Would Kadin fit in, would he make friends, would he be accepted? Kadin came home from school in the beginning and told us that he didn't have any friends - that no one would play with him. It's hard when you're dealing with a 4-year old to completely believe everything he said. Was this true? Did he really not have any friends?

So we asked Kadin's teacher if he socialized with other kids. She said yes, BUT sometimes he became too aggressive and the kids would shy away from him. Well we were very relieved when she told us on Tuesday that Kadin has made a LOT of progress with this and is now playing much better with the other kids - AND Kadin finally comes home and talks about things he's done with other kids at school.

I'm so proud of Kadin. It was so surreal to watch him show Bella around his classroom . . . as he told her things he did during the day. My mind wandered to when she will be old enough to attend school . . . knowing Bella is my last baby . . . how the times when she still wants hugs and snuggles may soon be coming to an end. I guess that's a whole other post . . .

To Be Fair . . .

I'm going to be honest . . . . being a parent has put me in many positions where I simply don't know what to do. My children have begun being competitive for things . . . who gets to brush first, who gets to take a bath first, who gets dressed first . . . each of them wants to be the first to do everything and of course because there is only one of me . . . they obviously both cannot be first.

Here is a dilemma I have found myself in lately . . .

Kadin and Bella fight over who gets to brush their teeth first. In the evening I will yell - "It's time to brush your teeth!" and usually they both come running from wherever they are. Now that is still the case, but now it has turned into a competition. Bella will start to run, but of course she is smaller and slower than Kadin - which Kadin is fully aware of and takes complete advantage of this. He ends up zooming past her and beats her to the bathroom - to which Bella has a complete meltdown.

The scary part . . . . . I had no clue what to do about it! At first I reprimanded Kadin for zooming past her on purpose. Then the next time I scolded Bella for not always having to be the first to brush, but it just continued to be an exhausting battle every single night. I really wish kids came with instruction booklets!!!

So - to try and combat the competitiveness, Brian and I have tried to come up with fair ways for them to pick things. So when Kadin and Bella were fighting over who got the pink toothbrush (yes my son LOVES pink - and I'm ok with it) Brian put them both behind his back and made Bella pick a hand. (she lost by the way) Or - now they have to take turns being first to brush - Kadin goes first in the morning and Bella goes first at night.

So tonight was bath night - and we knew there was going to be a fight over who got to take a bath first. So Brian came up with this . . .

Brian: Kadin & Bella come here!

Kadin & Bella: Yeah!

Brian: We're going to play a little game. I'm going to think of a number between one and ten and you have to try and guess the number. Ok?

Kadin & Bella: Ok - yeah!

Brian: And whoever gets closest to the number will get to pick whether or not they want to take a bath first - ok?

Kadin & Bella: OK!

Brian: Ok - Kadin pick a number between one and ten.

Kadin: Eight

Brian: Ok - Bella pick a number between one and ten.

Bella: Looks blankly at Brian.

Brian: Ok - pick one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, nine or ten.

Bella: Ten!

The number was nine . . . . . do you see a slight problem with this game????

So after they played the game again . . . Kadin won and decided that he wanted to take a bath first. So Bella - being the keen little girl that she is - realized that we indeed have two bathtubs so why can't they each take a bath in a different tub . . . .

SO - then the arguement became who got to take a bath in which tub . . .

Trying to be fair is near impossible!!

Kelsey Briggs

I'm sure most if not all of you have no clue who Kelsey Briggs is. In fact - I didn't have a clue either until yesterday.

I found my way on to YouTube and was looking at various videos of people paying tribute to their children who had passed away. Mostly what I was watching was babies that had either died at birth or died shortly after birth.

Then I came across this tribute to a little girl named Kelsey Briggs, who died before she turned three years old. When I first began to watch I thought it was sad like all the others I had watched before. Then I began to read the story along with the pictures . . . and the horrible truth surrounding how this little girl died became a reality for me.

Kelsey was killed by her step-father. He abused her for months until he finally took her life all the while her mother stood by and watched.

I sat staring at my computer screen watching the pictures scroll by of this beautiful little girl and I just started to cry. I don't understand how someone could do the things this man did to an innocent child.

I'm not exactly sure why I'm posting her video, but ever since I watched it I can't get her out of my mind. I can't stop feeling the anger, and deep sadness for her family and the complete unfairness of a child taken so young and still so full of life.

After I watched this I dried my eyes and went and watched my kids sleeping. Tears were streaming down my face as I looked at Bella . . . and thought about how my heart would break if anything happened to her. How Kelsey reminded me of the spirit and liveliness I see everyday in my own children. So if anything I hope that maybe this makes you appreciate your own children a little more . . . maybe you can go give them that extra hug and kiss.

Make sure your kleenex is handy . . .

Look-A-Likes

My friend Emily inspired me to look back at some of my children's baby pictures tonight. On her blog she posted a picture of her oldest daughter when she was a baby and now her new daughter. Those two kids look identical - now it helps that they are in the exact same chair wearing the exact same outfit, but still they could easily pass for the same kid! Check this out and see what I mean!

So I was thinking back to when Isabella was born and I remember both Brian and I were struck at how much she looked like her brother. Aside from the fact that we dressed her in frilly pinks and ruffles - everyone who saw her instantly thought of Kadin when he was a baby.

So I perused through some early pictures of both kids and found these two pictures. I think they are both around the same age and I thought it was funny that they are both sitting on the Boppy. Now of course you can easily tell which is Bella because of her frilly shirt - but I still really do think my kids looked alike in those early months.

Yarn and Fuzz

Ever since I can remember, Kadin has had three favorite blankies. We affectionately call them yarn and fuzz. He actually has two blankies we call fuzz . . . they are both fuzzy soft (hence the name fuzz) and are light baby blue. One is a checkerboard pattern and the other has stars and moons on it. His absolute favorite by far is yarn . . . it's got teddy bears on it and carefully placed throughout this blanket are pieces of yarn woven in (hence the name . . . yeah I think you get it!)

He has had these three blankies since he was a baby. It appears he has outgrown the fuzzes, but yarn is still close to his heart. Yarn goes almost everywhere Kadin goes . . . he goes in the car with Kadin back & forth to Iola (he doesn't go in the school though, he waits in the car) he goes to the store, to restaurants, to Grandma's and to bed every single night. There is actually one night I can distinctly remember when we where staying at a hotel for something and we couldn't bring yarn because Kadin had had a pee-pee accident the night before and yarn was dirty . . . that poor boy was just beside himself and he could not fall asleep.

I don't remember exactly how yarn became Kadin's favorite or at what age, but I know it's been a L O N G time. We always tell Kadin about how we got yarn from a lady that Daddy works with and how she gave us yarn as a present when he was born. I realize now that just saying that really didn't mean a whole lot to Kadin . . . I don't think the words alone made him understand truly how long he has loved that square of fabric.

So, I showed him some pictures . . .

This first one is Kadin napping on his Boppy, which is laying on yarn.

This one is of yarn laying in the hallway. Kadin used to drag him everywhere!

I wish I could truly describe the look on Kadin's face when he saw his blankie in those pictures. It was a look I can only describe as complete disbelief. He kept muttering about how he couldn't believe he'd had yarn for so long and he'd go and look at the pictures and then go and spread yarn out on the floor of his room and look . . . almost as if to check and make sure that what he saw in that picture was actually the same blankie he held each night before bed.



I'm not sure how long Kadin will hang on to yarn . . . I'm certainly not in a rush to get rid of him. In fact Kadin is watching television and snuggling with yarn right now. It's funny how Kadin has grown so much since we got that blankie. We used to wrap him up in that thing and now when I cover him up at night it barely covers his toes. It's seen about four sets of replacement yarns now since in the early years Kadin used to chew them off . . . and it's been washed more times than I can count. Pee-pee'd on, threw up on . . . yet through it all has been a friend and sense of security for my little boy.



So - thanks yarn for all you do. I hope to wash you for many years to come!

The Dreaded Flu Shot!!

I decided on a whim that tonight after work I would take the kids to the mall to get our flu shots. Don't ask me why a mall would be a good place to give flu shots - perhaps because the mall is so dead that no one will hear all the little kids screaming . . . or maybe it's because there are so many empty spaces - they can have their choice of which one to use . . . whatever the reason we went - to the spot that used to house The Buckle clothing store. It was very strange to me to think that back in high school I would drag my parents to The Buckle and have them buy me the most ridiculously priced clothes EVER. I could almost see myself trying on those GUESS jeans for $70 - and my parents happily shelling out the dough to get them. I'm dreading the teenage years!

Sorry, back to the flu shots. So my plan was to not tell the kids why we were going to the mall until I absolutely had to. So of course they didn't think anything of it and we're walking through the mall and come to The Buckle - aka flu shot central. Kadin sees all the chairs and people waiting . . . . he looks at me and goes "what is this place?" Brian and I just look at each other and ignore him.

So I go to the desk and the lady loudly asks . . . "here for a flu shot today?" Well, someones little ears heard the word "shot" and immediately Kadin began to panic and cry. So I'm thinking - great now not only do we have to wait for our turn, but we have to wait while we listen to Kadin whine the whole time about how he doesn't want a shot!

Thankfully the lady behind the desk felt so bad about exposing the truth about our visit - she allowed my kids to take a toy before their shots to distract them. Well she was a complete genius because my children spent the next 20 minutes chasing little smiley faced balls around the completely empty mall. Have I mentioned that our mall is really lame???

Anyway . . . it's was finally our turn and as we walked to our curtain I warned this poor woman that she was going to have a live one on her hands. She quietly asked . . . "which one?" "The boy" I quickly stated. She got us settled into our cubby and Kadin quickly started to panic.

First Kadin wanted to go first, then he wanted to go last, and then when "last" finally came he didn't want to go at all! Big surprise! That kid was simply hysterical!!! First he refused to take his arm out of his shirt . . . and when I tried to get it out he stiffened up like a dead person with rigamortis - man that kid is strong!!! So Daddy gave it a try and we finally got his shirt off and I could tell this woman was a little frightened to try and stick a needle into the arm of a boy who is flailing around like a fish out of water. She kept saying "now, you're going to need to really hold his arms tightly." Well no kidding . . . can't you see that we're trying here???

Three minutes of intense screaming and thrashing - me with a death grip on his arms and Dad holding down the legs and it was over. Kadin got a cheetah colored band aide and had successfully terrified any small child in the waiting area that was next in line.

Oh . . . what? You're wondering how Bella did? Hmmm . . . what was it that she said . . . oh yeah I think she said . . . "I'm exited . . . I'm happy!" (I'm not kidding - she really said that!) Not a single tear shed. Amazing . . .

It's Important.

Let your voice be heard . . .

VOTE TODAY!

What Did You Say?

The kids were very excited to help make cookies the other day. I was using up some of those frozen tubs of cookie dough and found that I had two whole tubs to make - sugar cookies and double chocolate chunk.

Kadin was already at the counter with his cookie sheet making round balls of the dark double chocolate chunk dough . . . Bella grabbed her chair and took her spot right next to Kadin. She got up and took one look at Kadin's cookie sheet and yelled - "aaahh! Poo-poo?"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Kadin and Bella were playing in the living room.

Kadin: Ouch! Bella!
Me: What happened?
Kadin: Bella hit me in the head with one of her princesses.
Me: Well I'm sure it was an accident.
Kadin: No it wasn't! She did it on purpose!
Me: Honey, I'm sure she didn't mean to do it.
Kadin: YES SHE DID! She did it on purpose.
Me: Ok.
Kadin: Oh great . . . I think I have to dial 1-9-9-9 . . . .
Me: What?
Kadin: Oh, I mean 9-1-1

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Bella was intently staring at my neck the other day. She was moving my hair and feeling my skin with her fingers.

Bella: Mommy . . . what that?
Me: What honey?
Bella: What that? (as she points to my neck)
Me: What are you pointing at?
Bella: Nipple? Nipple mommy?

She thought the tag-mole on my neck was a nipple. Priceless.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The whole family was in the car on the way home and Kadin's throat-clearing fetish was in full effect. He was clearing his throat every couple of seconds.

Me: Kadin . . . honey . . . please stop doing that.
Kadin: I can't.
Me: Well you have to try.
Kadin: I have a frog in my throat.
Brian: Kadin - I realize you need to clear your throat, but why don't you try and do one big one and then stop and give your throat a rest for awhile. You are probably just irritating it more by clearing it every five seconds.
Kadin: (clearing his throat really loudly as Dad suggested - then a minute later he starts clearing his throat again)
Brian: Geez Kadin - stop ok?
Kadin: I CAN'T!!
Brian: Crying out loud you sound like you have Tourette's Syndrome!

Long pause . . . the car falls silent.

Kadin: What is tordent's snyndrom?

We all burst out laughing . . .

Farewell October!

Adios my favorite month of the year! My how you've come and gone so quickly! I enjoyed every minute! What better way to close my favorite month of the year with my favorite holiday of the year . . . have I mentioned that I LOVE OCTOBER!!!!

Kadin the pumpkin - 2004

Kadin the dinosaur - 2005

Kadin as Superman and Bella as a chili-pepper - 2006

Kadin the dragon & Bella the chicken - 2007

And finally . . . . Kadin as Batman, Bella as Snow White and Grandma as a bottle of mustard! - 2008

What A Night!

It seems to be one of those days when things just don't seem to go right. I'm sure you've all had them . . . you go to the store for something, but you just can't find what you're looking for or you have a taste for something but you can't put your finger on what it is . . .

Today I had a few simple missions for myself. I needed to go to one of the dollar stores and find some cheap baby items to finish the decorating on a baby shower gift. I needed to find a banner that said "Welcome Back!" for my boss who is returning to work after being gone for nearly a month. And after spending a good portion of the night up with Bella who couldn't seem to stop coughing - I needed to find these AMAZING vapor chest patches that I had used the last of last night.

So - I get Bella off for her nap, Kadin settled with his Transformers movie, and Daddy happily watching football in the comfy chair and I am off to attack my missions.

Get to the dollar store and I can't find my banner or the baby things I wanted. I guess when you are only willing to be cheap - it limits your options a little. So I browsed the store anyway and picked up a few small things. I then headed off to the drug store to find those life-saving vapor patches. Seriously, they were the ONLY thing that worked last night. So I figure that Walgreens would have them . . . no. Ok - so I try the grocery store . . . no. What in the world . . . why can't I find these stupid patches?!?

So, I go home and look online at the Triminic website because I at least knew what brand they were and all I have to say is . . . to anyone at Triminic - why in the world would you no longer produce a product that actually works on a cough!!!!! Seriously - do any of you people even have children???

Uggh! So not only can I not get my miracle patches now I have to venture out again because I am NOT facing another night without some sort of reinforcements for this nasty cough - which when I get home Brian tells me Bella didn't nap at all because she couldn't stop coughing. Yeah - enough said.

So all four of us pile in the car for our second trip to Walmart this weekend - and we head over to the drug section. Nothing - can't give her cough syrup - she's too little . . . there is absolutely nothing there that is going to help my poor coughing baby. Sigh . . .

So since we are there, I take Kadin to look at some Autumn jackets and Brian takes Bella to the automotive section. Kadin and I have zero luck with the jackets - big surprise and we find Bella and Daddy by all the car parts. I notice that Bella is crying and Brian gives me one of those looks.

Me: "What happened?"
Brian: "She dropped that on her foot."

He proceeds to show me this heavy metal object - honestly I'm not even sure what the heck it was for, but when I picked it up and held it in my hand my heart almost stopped. This thing literally had to weigh about 35 lbs - and the thought of dropping that on my toe made me cringe and then looking down at my poor little girl with snot dripping out of her nose and tears streaming down her face - the thought of her dropping that on her little toes made my heart break.

I carefully take off her sock and find four red little toes. They honestly didn't look that bad, but she sure was whimpering. So we leave Walmart with NOTHING - and head home to ice Bella's little piggies and eat supper.

When we get home I notice that she is limping when she walks - and not only is she limping she's whimpering as she's limping as snot is pouring out her little nose as tears are streaming down her face. It was the saddest sight. I get out the ice pack and set her up on the couch with her foot propped up on a pillow, Kadin at her side telling her it will be alright. (yeah - he was that cute) I take off her sock again and this time I see that her little red toes are now little red swollen toes. Hmmm . . . Brian and I look at each other and pretty much knew we were going to be making another trip - this time to Urgent Care.

So to make a long story short - Bella arrived back from Urgent Care with 25 stickers and one wrapped foot. Luckily she doesn't have any broken bones, just some nasty bruising . . . and she's convinced that her "band aide" has made her foot all better.

You Know It's A Good Morning . . .

When you go to wake up your daughter and she sleepily rolls over and looks at you. When she realizes that you are indeed not her daddy . . . she proceeds to scream and cry.

When you only have a short amount of time to get out the door in the morning and you can't wait until Daddy gets out of the shower to come and pick up your screaming daughter - so you proceed to carry her literally kicking and screaming into your bedroom.

When your son acts like a limp rag doll when you are trying to quickly get him dressed because after the alarm went off you accidentally dozed off and woke up ten minutes late.

When you get breakfast on the table and your son comes around the corner and asks what's for breakfast. When you tell him - he replies "I don't like Honey Nut Cheerios!!!" (imagine that phrase in the whiniest voice possible)

When your daughter begs for pancakes instead of cereal . . . then refuses to eat the pancakes when you give them to her.

When your children leave the breakfast table and you realize that they have not eaten anything you've given them, yet they've managed to spill food all over the floor and table.

When a fight ensues in the bathroom over an Elmo washcloth, the step stool and who gets to brush their teeth first.

When your son "can't" find his shoes even though they are right where you told him they were. Then when he finally finds them he "can't" get them on by himself.

When you look at the clock and realize it's 7:05 and your lunch is still not packed, you haven't eaten breakfast and you were supposed to be to work five minutes ago.

Yeah . . . it was that kind of morning.

The Faces Of Halloween

Today was a great day! I am typically not a fan of Sundays . . . but today was an exception. I just LOVE this season . . . have I mentioned that?? There is nothing better than a cool rainy day spent snuggled inside your warm house surrounded my pumpkin guts and the smell of a freshly opened pumpkin! GREAT!!!

So I started early and brought the pumpkins in from outside so they could warm up a little before we stuck our hands into their freezing insides. The kids were so excited to carve these pumpkins . . . it was the anticipated event of the day.

This was the first year that Kadin got to carve his pumpkin all by himself. He told me what kind of face he wanted . . . "Circle eyes, circle nose, and a 'boo' mouth." So I drew it on there with a marker and sent him to work carving out his face. (just in case you are wondering - no I did not let my 4-year old use a sharp knife . . . we have these little safety saws ok?!) He worked so diligently on his pumpkin . . . taking such care to saw out each eye. He even added some impromptu eyebrows which I thought were awesome!

Bella of course wanted to carve hers by herself as well - monkey see, monkey do. Thankfully she was alright with holding the saw with me . . . so we cut out hers together. I asked her what kind of face she wanted and of course she said "Boo!" just like her brother. So we settled on square eyes, a triangle nose, and the "boo" mouth.

The kids were beat and Kadin actually asked to go to bed early - that has NEVER happened before! Of course Bella had to follow suit - which I can still here her chattering away to herself up there. So, it's now 8 o'clock and four freshly carved pumpkins are sharing their eerie glow on our front porch . . . a sheet full of pumpkin seeds are drying on the kitchen counter . . . and I'm still picking dried pumpkin guts from underneath my finger nails and off of my kitchen floor.

I love Halloween!!

What's In Your Purse?

I recently attended a wedding shower and one of the games we played was - what's in your purse. It was a list of about 30 things and each thing was assigned a point value. If you had that item in your purse then you got the points. The person with the most points won.

I don't typically carry a very large purse - in fact I tend to laugh at people with big purses and wonder what the heck they carry in those giant things. So today Brian and I got a good laugh when we were about to enter Sam's Club.

So those of you who are Sam's shoppers know that you must present your special Sam's card to enter the store (you know like it's a secret club or something). So there was a couple in front of us and the woman takes out her wallet - now mind you - just her wallet . . . and opened it to find her Sam's card. Well the minute she opened the thing about 20 different cards flew out and scattered all across the floor. Her and her man scrambled on their hands and knees trying to quickly scoop up her life of cards thrown about the floor.

I was thinking . . . how in the heck can that woman have so many damn cards in her wallet?? So I wanted to check and see how many cards I had in my own wallet. Here we go . . .

1. Debit Card
2. Credit Card
3. Drivers License
4. YMCA Card
5. Menards Card
6. Sam's Card
7. Social Security Card
8. Movie Rental Card
9. Blood Donor Card
10. 2 Insurance Cards
11. My Boss' Business Card
12. 2 Appointment Cards for my haircuts
13. Coupon Card

So there you have it . . . . fifteen cards . . . . so what's in your purse? How many cards do you have?

Oh - and completely unrelated . . . I believe this is my 100th post! Hope you've enjoyed reading them as much as I've enjoyed sharing them!

School Pictures

I always hated my school pictures. My hair never seemed to look right on those days and when I was younger my mom would try and style my hair . . . . not good. Looking back I wonder why in the world I picked that shirt to wear, or why did I have so many pimples going through puberty?? But I suppose that's what makes looking back at your school pictures fun.

Kadin had his school pictures a couple of weeks ago. I have been anxiously waiting for him to bring them home. Honestly with these pictures I was expecting the worst and hoping for the best. Since Kadin was very little he's had the goofiest smile. It started with him scrunching his whole face together and evolved into this goofy smirk - grin. Every time I see a picture with that smirk it makes me giggle a little.

I came home from work yesterday and Kadin was so excited to show me something in his backpack - the long awaited pictures!! He pulled them out and excitedly said "Look mom! Aren't they cool?"

As you can see Kadin did not disappoint . . . sly grin and all! One day I will bring out this picture . . . when he has his girlfriend over . . . to show him what he looked like when he was four. He'll probably wonder why in the world he always smiled like that . . . I'll just giggle and tell him that's just the way he always was.

What a cute kid!

The Power Of People

Brian and I recently had a disagreement over the type of people one choose's to surround themselves with. I was trying to figure out why a person would want to spend time with someone that was completely different from themselves. Now before I move forward let me explain what I mean . . . obviously all people are different. I'm not talking about simple likes and dislikes . . . I'm talking about different lifestyles, values and moral standards.

My point was that if you continually surround yourself with people that live differently than you - perhaps those people would be a bad influence on you. Just like you wouldn't want your teenager to hang out with the kids that drink and smoke . . . I think something can be said for adults as well.

Brian totally disagrees with me - and chalks it up to . . . if you have a problem with it, then it must be about trust - you don't trust that person. AND goes on to further state that perhaps one shouldn't be so judgemental about certain people that one doesn't know. In other words . . . get to know someone before you judge what type of person they are.

Valid points . . .

Ok - obviously I'm beating around the bush here and being completely vague on purpose. Let's just break it down shall we . . . after all this is my blog. Brian associates himself with people that . . . well I just don't like. You can call me a bitch for not taking the time to get to know them - but honestly I don't want to get to know them. They don't live the lifestyle that I choose to live and they certainly are not people I want to bring my kids around. I'm not trying to imply that I'm better than anyone . . . I have my flaws and I'm certainly not perfect. HOWEVER - I also know the kind of people that I want to be friends with and invite into my home . . . these people are not it.

After Brian and I had this initial argument about what kind of people he hangs out with . . . he brought up the valid points I mentioned earlier. I'm not one to tell my husband what he can and cannot do. I don't feel I need to treat him like one of my children . . . after all a marriage should be a partnership built of respect and trust for one another . . . so I was willing to respect Brian's judgement and let it go.

THEN Brian decided to go out with these people and think it was alright to come home at 3:45 in the morning. Hmmm . . . respect . . . . trust . . . .? Of course as I rolled over in bed and realized it was practically morning I was LIVID. I was so angry I could hardly bring myself to look at him. But after I got to thinking . . . it wasn't that I was mad . . . I was hurt . . . because this proved exactly the point I was trying to make in the first place.

If you look at how your children learn . . . they learn a lot from what they see around them. They are like little sponges just observing their surroundings. I'm not implying that a 30 year old is anything like a 2 or 3 year old - but just think about it. Let's make it simple . . . I know for a fact that if I'm around people that swear a lot for long periods of time . . . I catch myself swearing. It's almost like you don't even consciously realize you are doing it . . . it just happens. Or if you're in a meeting or class and no one is participating - then you are less likely to participate. You're on the interstate and your lane isn't moving . . . you wonder why the other lane is clear yet no one is moving over . . . then you see some cars venture over so you decide to go. The power of people and influence is astounding! Everyday in a hundred situations people look to each other on how to act, what to do, where to go and it's all based on influence and what you view as acceptable.

There are some people who will lead by example . . . show the masses where to go and what to do. There are even more followers . . . those who fit in and follow the example they are shown. What example do we want to show our children? What kind of people do we want to surround them with?

I'm going to close with this disclaimer. Brian did not in any way get to tell his side of the story here (again MY blog). He is a wonderful husband who is kind, considerate, loving to both myself and our children and 95% of the time gets it right. He is an involved father who enjoys spending time with his kids and doesn't view it as a chore. I know that I'm lucky as hell to have him . . . but this time he got it wrong.

My Head Just Might Explode

So I have been trying to make an effort to be more patient with my children. I swear I would need the patience of a saint to not loose my cool every once in a while, but none-the-less I'm trying. I've been feeling like my life consists of yelling, yelling and then a little bit more yelling. I wanted to try and change that.

Ok - so tonight is truly trying my convictions to keep my cool. Brian left for a meeting and I was left to bathe, read, and put the kids to bed. Now usually I can say that this process goes quite smoothly. Turn on the TV babysitter and I can easily bathe one while the other is vegging out to Go Diego Go! or Dora the Explorer. However it always seems like the rest gives me trouble - it's on to PJ's, teeth-brushing, hair drying, and book reading.

Bella decides that she wants to brush her teeth all by herself . . . which creates a slight problem because I need to brush her teeth. So we fight over that . . . then on to book-reading where the kids have to argue about which books to read and who gets to flip the pages. Who gets to flip the freaking pages - are you kidding me!?!?! Oh no . . . I'm not kidding.

Through all that . . . I'm still keeping my cool. Yeah me!!! Now comes the best part . . . Kadin. My wonderful son . . . let me rephrase that . . . my wonderful stubborn as a mule son. I hear him whimper to me that he wants a drink as I'm getting Bella situated in her crib with her 17 books, her Barbie doll, her 3 blankies and her stuffed ghost. Geez . . .

So I tell him to go in the bathroom and get a drink while I finish up with Bella. Here's where I realize I am in big trouble. Kadin doesn't want to get a drink . . . not really. He wants to pretend that he wants a drink . . . so he can whine about not getting a drink. Parents - ever get to play this one??? Oooh . . . it's one of my favorites . . .

So I go to tuck Kadin in to bed and he of course won't go because his throat is soooo parched and he can't go to sleep without that cool drink of water - which if you remember I told him to go and get . . . .but oh yeah - that's not part of the game.

Kadin: I want a drink!
Me: I already told you that if you want a drink go in the bathroom and get one. I'm not going to play this game with you.
Kadin: But I want a drink!
Me: Kadin - I'm not doing this. Either get into bed or go and get a drink.

He doesn't move - he just begins to cry.

Me: Kadin I am turning out the light now and I'm leaving this room. If you want a drink you know where the bathroom is. Good night.

YES! All done without loosing my cool. Yeah me again!

Fast forward 20 minutes and he's still walking around the house crying about his drink. Peeking into the kitchen . . . sneaking downstairs . . . running into the living room. So now I'm getting mad. I stop him heading down the stairs . . .

Me: Kadin what is the problem?
Kadin:
Me: What? What do you need?
Kadin:
Me: Kadin you better tell me what you need right now. I am getting very angry with you. (keep in mind my blood is boiling and all I want to do is grab him by the arm and drag him back to his room)
Kadin: I want a drink.

Geesh! Is this for real??? Am I getting punked??? What kind of stupid God-for-saken game is this???? I freaking hate this game!!!!!! Why does my child insist on messing with my head??? I seriously want to strangle him right now . . . . and the part that keeps me from doing that is the part that tries to remember when I was a kid . . . . and feeling that feeling of wanting something so bad, but knowing you screwed it up, and then getting even more mad because you still want it. Do you remember this? It's the classic fit . . . and Kadin was full blown in it.

Kadin has admitted that he does things to get our attention - even if that attention is getting yelled at. He just thrives on being the center of attention. So I tried to teach him a lesson tonight without giving in. I ignored him.

He pranced around me as I was typing this post saying . . .

"I want a drink. I'm so thirsty . . . I want a drink . . . . mom won't let me have one . . . I can't make up my mind."

At one point he started to make a song out of it. It was quite catchy . . .

That boy finally gave up around 9:30 . . . almost an hour of carrying on over a stinking drink of water. I honestly don't even know if he took that drink or not . . . but you know what gives me the greatest satisfaction . . . .

I WON . . . . . . I WON . . . . . . I WON!!!!!

I'm pooped!

Woah - what a day it's been! It seems like the day is never going to end . . . I have been up since 5 a.m. and had to be to work this morning for 6. Yeah - happy Saturday to me! I spent 12 hours in a smelly factory office with a co-worker of mine who was coughing and hacking the entire time sitting and checking in dirty inventory sheets. I literally spent 10 hours checking in 820 sheets of paper . . . and it wouldn't be so bad if I would've done it oh let's say electronically or something but no . . . . I had to HAND check in 820 dirty sheets of paper . . . not once but TWICE. So - I got to physically write down that I checked in those dirty sheets of paper 1640 times.

I have a red callous on my pinky finger knuckle and will be amazed if I don't end up with the cough and hack of my co-worker after breathing in her germs for 12 hours. I am exhausted, crabby, and dirty.

I think I need a hot bath.