"Lick Me"

Most of you that know Brian, know that he loves to joke around. One of the things I love most about him is his sense of humor . . . and if you all could have a window into our daily lives you would probably see our family acting goofy and juvenile at some point in our day. It's what makes life with two small children fun . . .

My mother had our kids today so Brian and I decided to start our Christmas shopping. Keep in mind that Brian LOVES to shop - and it's me that usually can't stand the crowds, the lines, the browsing (I absolutely HATE browsing!!!), but today I was ready to tackle those stores head on.

So we end up at Wal-mart . . . no big surprise and we have a cart full of goodies and we go to check out. I'm sure you've all seen this commercial where Wal-mart advertises that they have more checkout lanes open to "make your shopping easier." Yeah - so as we make our way to the front of the store we notice that there really aren't that many lanes open and that Wal-mart obviously practices false advertising.

I do a quick count of the items in our cart and realize that we have only a handful of things so I steer our way over the the express lanes thinking it will be faster. We take our place third in line (not too bad) and then I notice that the cashier is having trouble with something. She can't get this item to scan and then another employee comes over - well Brian and I look at each other and make a bee-line for the next line over thinking that we'll be waiting forever in this line since the cashier doesn't seem to know what she is doing.

So - in line number two we take our place second in line (hey, we're moving up!) and then we quickly realize that cashier number two is having difficulty ringing up a coupon. She tries to enter it . . . . . nope, that doesn't work. She takes the item back out of the bag and tries to ring it up again . . . . . . nope that doesn't work either. By this time Brian is losing what little patience he has left and quickly races over to the "Self-Checkout" lanes.

Let me just give you a quick rundown of our experience with the "Self-Checkout" lanes. THEY NEVER WORK RIGHT!!!!! Every single time I have used one of those stupid things a lady has had to come over and enter some special "you are an idiot and obviously don't know what you are doing" code to allow me to take my things . . . . . so when I see Brian making his way over to the self-checkouts I already know we are in trouble.

At this point I just stand back to watch the show . . . Brian begins to scan each item and everything seems to be working great. He scans our credit card and goes to sign on the little screen with the magic pen. So he signs and then it happens . . . the little red light comes on and here comes the lady with the special "you are an idiot and obviously don't know what you are doing" code so we can be on our way.

If you've ever paid using a credit card you know that on your receipt is printed a copy of your signature. Well Brian is chuckling as he takes the receipt and proceeds to show me that on our receipt is not only a copy of his signature but right below his signature is written "LICK ME". Yes - my thirty year old husband wrote the words "LICK ME" with the little magic pen when he signed his name.

We go to leave the store and the alarms go off as we exit the doors. The employee comes over and says . . . .

"Can I see your receipt please?"

Oh . . . . . sure you can . . . . chuckle, chuckle.