Parent Outreach

Kadin's school has these events they call "parent outreach" events. These are days when they ask the parents to come to school and spend some time with your child doing something fun . . .

Since Brian is in school - he basically will never attend a field trip or parent outreach activity . . . that responsibility lays solely on me. Now don't get me wrong - I enjoy spending time with my son at his school . . . looking at his art projects and usually making one too. HOWEVER it never fails that during these things Kadin will embarrass me somehow in front of all the other children and their parents.

At Kadin's first field trip to the apple orchard he had a fit in the middle of the trees because he wanted to pick more apples and they were only allowed to pick one per child . . . . embarrassing.

So - since then I've tried to lay down ground rules in the car before we get inside. No screaming, no whining and we must follow the same rules we do in school. I always get the nodding of the head and the "yeah I understand mom" as we quickly exit the car and make our way inside.

This activity was decorating sugar cookies and making a craft. When we walked in, the sugar cookies were already on the table . . . and it was all I could do to keep Kadin's little mits off of them as we waited for everyone to arrive. So they finally passed out the frosting and we began our decorating . . . . four cookies for each child . . . Kadin had me frost them and he decorated them with sprinkles galore. He actually did a really great job . . . he took his time and added just the right amount of sprinkles on each cookie.

When it was time to start the craft I was thinking heck - this is going great. Ummm yeah - that was my first mistake I guess. Our craft was to make a paper chain where we had to glue these little strips of paper together and make a chain. I honestly don't know where I went wrong, but this happens to me often. See, being Kadin's mother I see myself in these situations where I know I'm in trouble. He started getting frustrated with the paper and glue . . . then the whining started . . . I kept control long enough to finish the craft and get us out of there!

Looking back I should have left right then, but no . . . I made the costly error of asking my son if he needed to go potty before we left. He said yes, so I told him to show me where the bathrooms were. We headed down the hall to find the bathrooms . . . he then asks me to go in there with him. I told him that Mommy couldn't go in the boys' bathroom so then he headed toward the girls' and says "well, let's go in the girls' then."

I loudly said "NO!" as he was about to head in the doorway. He turns around with this stunned look on his face and I tried to explain to him that he definitely cannot go in the girls' bathroom and that he needed to go in there by himself like he does every day when he's at school. He got this sad look on his face and then proceeded to tell me that he doesn't need to go to the bathroom anymore. So I'm thinking that instead of starting an argument right here in the hall - we'd just leave and I'd take my chances.

I turn to leave and I notice that Kadin is not following me. He has stopped several steps away from the boys' bathroom and is staring at me. So I look at him and ask him if he's decided to go use the bathroom . . . to which he says yes. He begins to walk BACKWARD to the bathroom and ends up walking directly into the hard wall . . . . SMACK . . . . head against hard tile wall.

SCREAMING . . . . . . . SCREAMING . . . . . . SCREAMING . . . . .

Teachers are now emerging from their classrooms to see what has happened to this poor child that is now wailing and flailing in the hallway. Other children are watching in horror at this spectacle . . . and I have no clue what to do. I was horrified . . . if there would have been a trap door I could escape through I would have done it.

There are no words to describe how angry I was with Kadin. Again . . . he had succeeded in embarrassing me in front of all these people . . . truly I never want to take him to another one of these things again.

AND - I feel badly for feeling that way. What kind of mother doesn't want to take her son to school functions??? Why do I let these things embarrass me? I know some mothers would say - "oh, just let people stare - who cares what other people think" . . . and it's not that I necessarily care what other people think, but I just really hate his behavior! The constant whining . . . the contant frustration with everything . . . it just gets so hard to deal with on a daily basis.

So - here's to hoping that there is not another parent activity for awhile . . . or at least until I muster up enough confidence!