The Power Of People

Brian and I recently had a disagreement over the type of people one choose's to surround themselves with. I was trying to figure out why a person would want to spend time with someone that was completely different from themselves. Now before I move forward let me explain what I mean . . . obviously all people are different. I'm not talking about simple likes and dislikes . . . I'm talking about different lifestyles, values and moral standards.

My point was that if you continually surround yourself with people that live differently than you - perhaps those people would be a bad influence on you. Just like you wouldn't want your teenager to hang out with the kids that drink and smoke . . . I think something can be said for adults as well.

Brian totally disagrees with me - and chalks it up to . . . if you have a problem with it, then it must be about trust - you don't trust that person. AND goes on to further state that perhaps one shouldn't be so judgemental about certain people that one doesn't know. In other words . . . get to know someone before you judge what type of person they are.

Valid points . . .

Ok - obviously I'm beating around the bush here and being completely vague on purpose. Let's just break it down shall we . . . after all this is my blog. Brian associates himself with people that . . . well I just don't like. You can call me a bitch for not taking the time to get to know them - but honestly I don't want to get to know them. They don't live the lifestyle that I choose to live and they certainly are not people I want to bring my kids around. I'm not trying to imply that I'm better than anyone . . . I have my flaws and I'm certainly not perfect. HOWEVER - I also know the kind of people that I want to be friends with and invite into my home . . . these people are not it.

After Brian and I had this initial argument about what kind of people he hangs out with . . . he brought up the valid points I mentioned earlier. I'm not one to tell my husband what he can and cannot do. I don't feel I need to treat him like one of my children . . . after all a marriage should be a partnership built of respect and trust for one another . . . so I was willing to respect Brian's judgement and let it go.

THEN Brian decided to go out with these people and think it was alright to come home at 3:45 in the morning. Hmmm . . . respect . . . . trust . . . .? Of course as I rolled over in bed and realized it was practically morning I was LIVID. I was so angry I could hardly bring myself to look at him. But after I got to thinking . . . it wasn't that I was mad . . . I was hurt . . . because this proved exactly the point I was trying to make in the first place.

If you look at how your children learn . . . they learn a lot from what they see around them. They are like little sponges just observing their surroundings. I'm not implying that a 30 year old is anything like a 2 or 3 year old - but just think about it. Let's make it simple . . . I know for a fact that if I'm around people that swear a lot for long periods of time . . . I catch myself swearing. It's almost like you don't even consciously realize you are doing it . . . it just happens. Or if you're in a meeting or class and no one is participating - then you are less likely to participate. You're on the interstate and your lane isn't moving . . . you wonder why the other lane is clear yet no one is moving over . . . then you see some cars venture over so you decide to go. The power of people and influence is astounding! Everyday in a hundred situations people look to each other on how to act, what to do, where to go and it's all based on influence and what you view as acceptable.

There are some people who will lead by example . . . show the masses where to go and what to do. There are even more followers . . . those who fit in and follow the example they are shown. What example do we want to show our children? What kind of people do we want to surround them with?

I'm going to close with this disclaimer. Brian did not in any way get to tell his side of the story here (again MY blog). He is a wonderful husband who is kind, considerate, loving to both myself and our children and 95% of the time gets it right. He is an involved father who enjoys spending time with his kids and doesn't view it as a chore. I know that I'm lucky as hell to have him . . . but this time he got it wrong.