The Good, The Bad, The Kadin

I love my son. What a truly unique person God created ...

I usually describe Kadin to someone who is asking as being difficult and challenging. I started thinking about what those people might think ... it's not typical that a parent would describe their child that way. The truth is ... it is easier for me to focus on all the hard times ... all the times when that little boy makes me want to rip my hair out. It's easier for me to say that he's difficult ... so that when he really is, people won't be surprised. Kind of like "hey ... I told you he was difficult" so that way I won't be embarrassed when he acts up.

The problem with that theory is ... no matter how much you may warn people about impending bad behavior ... when it happens, it's still embarrassing!! When he throws a fit at Grandma B's birthday party ... it's still embarrassing even though all those people know Kadin is "difficult".

Brian had a particularly rough day with Kadin. It is on days like today when we wonder if every value we are trying to instill in our child is even penetrating ... are we even getting through? It is those times when I feel like a parenting failure that I turn to those moments when I know I've done something right ...

The kids were over at Sara, the neighbor girl's house, a couple of weeks ago. They were playing in the sandbox and I noticed Sara's parents were deep in discussion about something. I walked over just to make sure everyone was behaving themselves and Sara's mom told me how they were just discussing Kadin. "Now what did he do?" - I think were the first words out of my mouth ... she laughed ... I felt bad that I said that out loud.

Apparently Sara has a thing for butterflies ... she LOVES them. Well, the kids found a dead butterfly in the grass and Sara was upset. Kadin took the butterfly and threw it in the fire pit. When Sara asked where the butterfly went ... Kadin told her he threw it in the fire pit, which sent poor Sara into a meltdown. Sara went and told her mom what Kadin did and how she was so sad about this poor butterfly being tossed into the fire pit ... Sara's mom proceeded to tell Sara that maybe Kadin was just kidding about putting the butterfly into the fire pit.

Sara headed over to Kadin and asked him if he really put the butterfly into the fire pit or was he just kidding ... Kadin looked over at Sara's mom, smiled and said - "No, I was just kidding. I don't know where the butterfly went." He got it ... he understood that in order to make Sara feel better ... he needed to tell a fib ... and he did.

Standing there in the neighbor's yard I was struck at what a mature response that was from a boy that I sometimes think is immature. I was so proud of him ... and proud to be his mom.

Today while I was giving Bella a bath she told me how she fell at Phillip's house and scraped her knee. (she actually said Phillip pushed her which is a whole other story) She continued to tell me that it was bleeding and she was crying ... and how Kadin picked her up, gave her a hug and carried her home. Kadin did that ... her big brother ... my son.

It would be great to think that all my days could be filled with situations like that. What parent doesn't dream of their child always being the helper, the protector, the "good" kid. If I'm being honest ... those situations probably come more often than I think ... unfortunately it's the bad stuff that we seem to remember. I have to keep reminding myself of all the reasons why I love Kadin so much ... what makes him, well him. It's everything ... it's the good, it's the bad ... that's Kadin. I wouldn't want it any other way.