If At First You Don't Succeed

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR MALE AUDIENCES!

Ok Ladies (and those men brave enough to tread in uncharted waters) I made an appointment for my annual pap and pelvic exam. I thought it was about time since I haven't had one since Bella was born and she's almost two. So, I stopped making excuses and just went.

I am a BIG baby when it comes to these things. I think about it all day long and get myself all worked up. Now normally I make my appointment with someone in the gynecology department because I figure - well that's what they know right . . . who could do it better than someone that does that stuff all day?

Well, this time I didn't follow my own advice - I made an appointment with my family doctor. BUT here's another snag - the doctor I used to see is no longer there - so I had to see a brand new doctor who just happens to be male. Before I go on I'd just like to say that I've had two kids . . . I've literally had more people than I care to count see my "special place" and in much worse condition I might add. So, the fact that my new doctor is a man shouldn't bother me right??

So I get there and we begin the exam. Of course the nurse has to come back in during the fun part - yeah, the nurse . . . who looks like she is twelve years old. (I must be getting old) So he begins the pap, but wait . . . . . . he's having trouble . . . . . . . wait a minute . . . . . . yup, he can't get the speculum inserted correctly. Yes you heard it ladies - there I am on the table with a guy I just met trying repeatedly to insert a shiny metal object into my "special place." I can hear him and the twelve year old talking amongst themselves as I try my best to not tense up. He finally calls to me from the nether regions and says "Your cervix is being shy today."

What????? This could only happen to me.

Turns out (in case you're wondering) my cervix is "off to the side". Gee, I've never had anyone say that to me before . . . funny how the people in the OBGYN department never seemed to have that trouble!!!!

So ladies, I hope you've all learned a valuable lesson from this . . . . when you need an annual exam, go to the people that do it all day long - they're clearly the best.