The Summer Blues

Have you ever had one of those days, weeks, months . . . where you just don't feel great about yourself? This summer has been tough on me and I'm sure it has to do with several things.

First is my new job. I spend more time there than I would like. I put in about 45 hours a week and I know that during month-end I have to work on Saturday too. Let me explain how much I DO NOT LIKE working on the weekends. Weekends are time for me to spend with my family and friends. There is nothing more frustrating than thinking about making plans, but having to remember that I can't make plans on certain weekends because I will have to work. Now I know right now some of you are saying "oh, poor baby . . . I work weekends." Yes, this is true . . . . I guess I've just been spoiled to have jobs where I've never really had to work weekends.

Second, of course because I work more I feel guilty about not spending enough time with the kids. This summer Brian has been home with them and although he complains a little about the bad days when the kids drive him nuts . . . I know he likes it. Not to mention he is great at it! If I had to spend every day home with the kids I think I would need to be committed. I am NOT a stay-at-home mom by any means. With that said, it doesn't mean I wouldn't mind seeing them for more than three hours a night.

Third, I haven't had a day off all summer. We haven't gotten to go anywhere or really do much because I can't take of from my new job. Brian wanted to take Kadin to Manitowoc to see the cool submarine they have there, but never got around to it - partly because he knows that I would like to go along and obviously couldn't this summer.

Fourth, Kadin is starting school this fall. I'm very excited for him, but I have to admit that it freaks me out! He still seems so small to me and I can't imagine him being somewhere on his own. We just got his paperwork for orientation and his school supply list. My baby has a school supply list!!! It's just unreal. The paperwork was talking about the things we'll do on orientation day and one thing they discussed was hot lunch. I can't even picture Kadin carrying a whole tray of food across a lunchroom. He has a hard time carrying his milk to the kitchen table!

Fifth is working out. Since getting our YMCA membership I have been working out at least three times a week and my clothes are STILL TIGHT!!!! I feel like there is no purpose . . . why do I bother when I haven't lost any weight. Perhaps it's because I eat like a pig . . . and my love of ice cream doesn't help either!

Woah . . . what a downer I am huh? I think I'll pull the pity train into the station for the night. Thanks for listening!