Kids = Structure

Bella has gone through some phases lately. This weekend in particular she has become very clingy, which is not like her personality. I can't tell you how many times I heard the word "Mommy!" and there she was with her arms open wide - just begging to be held.

It got me thinking about all the phases my kids have gone through - or I should say all the rituals they make/made us do.

1. Bella's bedtime ritual begins with her stories (usually three) and ends with me singing to her. The songs are: Silent Night and Rock-a-bye Bella. (yes in that order) Then she folds her hands and that lets me know she is ready for her bedtime prayer. Once all snuggled in her crib I turn out the light and leave the room knowing she is going to throw her nukie over the side - begin to cry - and I will come back in to retrieve it. She does this only once and she is off to sleep.

2. Kadin's bedtime ritual also begins with his stories (usually three, but lately he's gone on marathons!) and ends with him playing a game of hide-and-seek. If I do the reading, then Daddy has to come in and do the seeking . . . watch out if you find him too fast!!! Every night we pretend we don't know where he is and every night he is tickled to death when we finally find him.

3. There was a time whenever we went in a store with automatic doors, Kadin had to be the first one to the door so he could make it open. This would occur on both entry and exit. Have you ever experienced a toddler trying to be the first one to a door in a busy store??? Umm yeah, sometimes Brian would be out to the car and Kadin and I were still stuck at that darn door.

4. Before Kadin would go to bed, he used to make us give him ideas for dreams. One night we made the mistake of telling him to have "sweet dreams." From that point on he wanted us to make up dreams for him. No big deal right . . . except they had to be just the right dream or he wouldn't accept it. Our deal was we'd give him two "accepted" dream ideas - well sometimes this required us to think up four or five dreams. I'm soooo glad he doesn't do that anymore!

5. When Kadin was really small he went through this phase were he wouldn't let Brian put him to bed. Brian would go in his room, bottle in hand, and Kadin would just scream and cry. I would go in there, take him in my arms and the crying would immediately stop. I had to rock that boy to sleep for about a month. I was worn out and Brian was jealous.

6. Kadin loved his videos when he was Bella's age. (Bella - not so much) We were big on Baby Einstein in those days and that kid would watch those videos over and over. Everytime he'd watch them he would make the same comments in the exact same spots - for instance when we'd watch Baby Galileo, I knew that when the kangaroo floated up in the sky he would wail and laugh. No kidding - every single time! Nowadays he just stares intently at his movie . . . sometimes I miss those wails and laughs.

It amazes me how much kids depend on structure in there lives and how the comfort of rituals makes them feel safe and loved . . . no matter how much those rituals may drive us nuts!