I Did Not

I did not eat a chocolate dipped granola bar for breakfast this morning followed by a bag of mini fudge Keebler cookies. That would be absurd considering I complain about my clothes not fitting even thought I work out . . .

I did not use Kadin's swimming lessons as an excuse to leave work early today. He really did have swimming lessons and I really did have to take him there . . . it just wasn't exactly at the correct time.

I did not tell my son it was ok to not wash his hands after he went potty because he was taking FOREVER and I didn't want him to miss something in swim class. That would just be gross and wrong!

I did not spend a significant amount of time surfing the web and checking out my favorite blogs today at work. I would never use company time to conduct personal affairs. Yeah - I can't even write that with a straight face!

I did not put Bella to bed tonight with five books and a tiara in her crib because since her nukie was taken away she seems to think she needs to surround herself with all her possessions in order to fall asleep. I mean, that could be dangerous . . . she could roll over and bend one of the pages of her books!

I did not conveniently "forget" to pay the babysitter yet this week because we don't get paid until Thursday and if she cashed the check before then it would bounce like a ball.

I did not tell my son it was "OK" when he told me that he farted on my lap - not once but twice - because I wanted him to stop talking about farts in front of all the parents at swim class.

I did not sit at my desk today and notice that I kept smelling dirty feet and then realized that if I was the one smelling it then it was probably my feet. If that were even remotely true I certainly would never admit to it - damn sandals!

And then I definitely DID NOT put lotion on my feet to try and mask the potential smell. Didn't do it . . .

Ok, I'm off to take a shower . . . and scrub my feet . . .