Not Me Monday

A day when I will relish in the things I certainly did not do . . .

I did not put Wall-E in for the kids to watch just so I could take a nap. And then I certainly did not tell Bella that I couldn't play with her because I was "watching" the movie . . . nope - didn't happen.

We did not threaten our children that if they didn't get their coats on we would leave them home by themselves . . . and then when said threat didn't work we certainly did not proceed to put on our coats and shoes and walk out the door to try and scare them. When they didn't even notice that we were gone we completely did not call them from our cell phone while peeking through the front door and lie to them that we were at a restaurant . . . no way . . . didn't happen.

I did not get a lecture on how television will make your "eyes square" from our 9-year-old neighbor and he did not proceed to tell me that the reason he and his sister can't come over to play is because our television is always on. And just for the record - if that conversation would have actually happened I would not have told that little snotty-nosed kid that we most certainly DO NOT have our television on all the time and that hello - television does NOT MAKE YOUR EYES SQUARE!!! Phew . . . good thing that never happened . . . little punk . . .

I certainly did not go outside and shovel the newly fallen snow wearing my husband's snow pants because mine are too tight in the waste . . . and when asked why I was wearing his pants I did not tell him that the reason I was wearing his pants was because mine were too short . . . nope - don't remember that at all . . .

I certainly do not allow my children to play nicely amongst themselves on some mornings when they get up too early and I am too tired to be a parent. I am certainly not looking forward to the day when they can get their own drinks and make themselves breakfast so I can sleep in until 8:00 . . . nope, not me. And just to prove that I am not completely lazy . . . I absolutely did not try and make a trade with Brian that he would get up with the kids if I gave him a back rub . . .

So there you have it . . . what have you not done lately?